[Jimbuna]

Due to increasing product liability, beer manufacturers have accepted the Government's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring joke over and over again until your friends want to smash your face in.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a w*nker.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your trousers.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you possess mystical Kung-Fu powers.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species, and/or name you can't remember)

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead to traffic signs and cones appearing in your home.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that people are laughing with you.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.