I have Depression?!
 

Well sorry for sounding so morbid this morning. I Just got back from the doctor after a few tests lasting over 3 weeks and he has confirmed that im suffering from depression! My last test was a series of questions which i had to answer honestly. 10 is bad 1 is good, my mark was a 9. :-?
My partner was the one who recommend i go see a doctor 3 weeks ago as she notice my mood swings were getting worse and reckon there was something wrong, i just use to laughed it off at the time and put it down to overworked or to many depth charges but she was right. I tend to lose interest in everything and find it easier to see the bad things in life instead of the good thats out there. I find it a real chore getting out of bed, i can sit down for more than ten minutes and next thing im snoring away into oblivion, its like i never get enough sleep im always tired. I use to be a real out going person, happy to meet people, yet for the past 8 months or so i try to avoid all contact with others apart from close friends, i thought it was just a fraze we go through or like a mid life crisis or something, (im 42) but no its depression. And ive taken the first step and admitt i suffer from it. 2nd step is am i willing to take medication like Prozac? ! well i said no and decided to go cold turkey instead, there is no way im gonna take some wonder pill and walk around like a zombie. Cold turkey is an option which the doctor provides me with methods they put down to like a list of things i have to go by day to day, but not recommended on the basis it will take longer and the slog with be all uphill. But prozac is simply out of the question for me ive heard more negatives than positives from that drug so dont want to go there. I have been very lucky when i think of it now, around 10 months ago i got laid of my job as system administrator, but the funny thing is i got reemployed not long after because as you know with todays technology we are now able to not have to go to the office but instead work at home and just log into the server. My boss offered me this option which i grab without a second thought all i do is log into the server each day and access the files they have left me to edit & keep the server uptodate etc all from the comfort of doing it from home - But as i look back i realised now that my boss actually got rid of me, i use to be argumentive towards her and we would always be debating on whats what, she probably thought im going get rid of this ba*tard but we need his skills so i'll get him to work from home. She's a great boss and probably sense something was wrong. Instead of firing me she just moved me as far away from the office as possible :rotfl: I think i owe her a big apology which im going to see her this week. In fact theres a few people in my life who i owe apologies too. The scary thought is i would of just kept on living the way i am not knowing im suffering from depression if it wasn't for my partner! who ive only known for 6-7 months and now im asking myself how did she put up with me? I must of been a real pain to live with.

So anyone else suffered from depression one time or the other in there lives? Any tips, advice. Hey and i understand if this post gets push down the line in minutes as depression i am told is rarely talked about openly. But do you know that depression is not like the flu meaning when you get the flu you know your not well, depression is a hidden sickness where most people that suffer from it dont even know they are. Apparently i have been suffering from it for over a yr now and just found out yesterday. Plus i must admit its a big bruise on my male ego, but im glad i now know what it is.

[Sorry Neal for putting such a morbid topic up on your site, but i figure this would be the best place to talk about it as commanding subs even though its only in cyber space requires great skills and edge of your seat stamina. There must be a few Captains out there living on the edge. :P ]

June of last year we had a major thread about depression, you´ll probably find some helpful advice there:
http://www.subsim.com/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=39163

Try to engage in some other activity "Outside" away from the computer realm.Ride a bike...go fishing...walk.Try offering your time in a homeless shelter or some type of charity organization.Look at others problems unfortunaltey and then count your own blessings.Sunshine I find is a very very good way to liven up....not just because I live in the land of 100 degree plus days either. :)

...don't know if ya know Jesus Christ either but he does know you... and the door to Him is always open still for now...or rather maybe He is knocking on yours?

Peace man.

I have suffered from depression during multiple times of my life. I've tried to kill myself twice and ended up in the psych ward of local hospitals because I didn't know how to handle rejection. My pessimistic attitude has caused quite a bit of trouble between my wife and I. Recently, I was fired from my job for standing up for myself and have become very depressed because I wasn't providing for my family, but my faith in that God must have a plan pulled me thru. Tomorrow, I will be attending orientation for a job. :up: :rock: :rock:

Do anything... read, walk, play games, build stuff, write, paint, whatever. Just keep your mind and body as active as possable, force your self to get up and move.

Open all the windows in your house, let the light and fresh air in (I see your in NZ so I assume its summer there). Turn on the radios in the house. Make it so that there is something going on in your house.

Kiwi,
just if you do not know me: I have been psychologist myself , but quit; I taught meditation (Zen/Chan, Kum Nye, Gestalt) until last December, and also have had a depressive episode myself in the early 90s. A member of my family also suffers from depressions at times.

Drop me a PM if you want. Paradigms are changing fast in psychology, but in the old triadic classification of psychiatry they used to make a different defintion for classifying depression (different from today's DSM and ICD). They only talked of exogenic and endogenic depression back then. Today it is more complex a classification, but not necessarily a better one.

Exogenic means "beeing caused externally", from outside your body, mind, life, psychological sphere, it could be a strong reaction to stressing events taking place (loosing a job, getting divorced, a death of a close person etc.), or too many of such experience it too little time. Here therapeutical analysis of your living conditions is the tool of choice, and if used by a good expert it works very well. The perspective is good, but that does not mean that therapy necessarily is a breeze, it can (and must be) very confronting. But you have good chances to recover completely. You need to find the stressing variables, that can be in your job, partnership, family life, or can root deep inside the existential-spüiritual level of life (if you have nor religious basis and feel lost in life, for example). At the same time you need to resist the temptation to hide behind endlessly talking about it.

Having taught meditation myself I also would warn you to jump around in new religions and cults right now. Spare that until you have cleaned your situation, and then want to find a tool to prevent yourself from falling into a deep hole again once the next stressing events enter your life. religion is of no use for you as long as you don't feel an existential craving for it. It should not be a habit only, then it is useless, because religion is not abou7t soemthing that is beeing done for you, or that is done to you, but about things you need to do yourself. If you do not feel that spiritual hunger, you serve your life better in concentrating on not dojng bad and evil things, and trying to do good deeds, that is a thosuand times of higher value for yourself, then. As long as you suffer from exogenic depression or any other kind of neurosis you easily could abuse religions just to hide from your problems. Sects and cults and Asian schools are filled and crowded by such people, really. I have visited many of these, and after some time always considerd myself to visit the yearly assembly of Germany's premium neurotics. I have never accepted clients for meditation that had not already experienced the climax of problems for which they were in therapeutical treatment. You may find peace for the moment and think you have tamed the monster under your bed, but instead the place under your bed just gets increasingly crowded. First solving any problems, then prevent new problems to appear, it only works this way, not the other way around. If you already live in a striong faith, there is nothing wrong in continuing with that as long as it does not bring you pain and misery, but it defiently would be the wrong time to search for a new one now. Spare that for the time after the crisis.

Endogenic depression, in the old classification scheme, was more serious, and has a tendency to stay, or come back time and again. It could become chronic. You need a specialist whom you really trust on a human level, and if he tells you to accept medications, you better accept that, then. Because edogenic depression means that the reaction you are suffering from is not "re-action" caused from outside events, but that you have some kind of predisposition for depressions. you need to check your family history here. Endogenic depression is by far no hopeless case (one person in my family is suffering from this, but with a good - and expensive - medication is able to live her life without greater fear and troubles and even enjoy life that way), but it needs to be taken very seriously, because if not treated it really can shorten your life and bring great suffering and pain for yourself, and people around you. It has a tendency to become chronic, and/or repetitive. treatment usually is both supportive therapy and medication for easing symptoms. From the style you wrote your thread I must tell you that I DO NOT think you are like that.

I also want to say that it does not really mean anything that a doctor labelled you this or that way. "You are depressive". Okay, what does this change for you? Nothing. you still feel the same way as before, and this feeling is your direct experience and your reality, no-one else's. Don't get fixed on the term, it is not important. Accept that you feel like you do, and that you make certain experiences in certain situations, and that you have vulnerabilities that maybe were not there before. That way you learn about yourself. And this is the first step for successful treatment - getting into contact with yourself. something goes wrong in your life, on one or more levels, and it causes you pain, you pay a price that is too high for you, that's why you are suffering. If you want to find out what it is that causes you pain, you need to know who you are. Most people need an objective communication partner for that who is able to look beyond the glamourous mask we all try to present to the others. He needs to be clever enough to look through the games you play, and not to buy your cheats and follies. that way he is of help for you to learn who you REALLY are. My impression is that most people waste their lifes behaving like someone they think they are. They are playing roles, wearing masks. Bad therapiosts replace the mask with another mask showing a different face. I advise you to learn wo liove without masks.

but I also want to warn you. It is the masks that identify us as emmbers of this or that community. If you refuse to wear masks, then you live in greater and authentic correspondence with your true self. but it also means that you probaly willlive a more or less lonesome life from that moment on. That is the price you have to pay, the existential dilemma. yoiu cannot be yourself and be the others at the same time. You need to choose. And no matter what your choice is, there will be consequences.

Last I say is: searching a good therapist, teacher, whatever, is part fo the solution in process. I left psychology and never regretted it. there are many in that field that have good intentions, but whose abilities are not en par with that. then there are some people who only think about their career and status, and don't know anything that could be of value for you at all, they enjoy their income and serve your tricks and pills only. But there are also some persons who are precious, and of value. These are rare, you need to search long, maybe. If you think you met one, test and judge his competence with your head. But the question if to trust that person or not you need to answer with your heart alone.

Need help just MSN me even when stat is away im never normaly far from the PC

Skybird wrote
I think this is it. Well the doctor said to me something has triggered your depressiion, there is no family history of depression, but 4 yrs ago i had a bad car accident at the time i just carried on with life after this accident like nothing happen, but recently i have had dreams of this car accident only that i died, same accident but i died instead. 3 of my friends were badly injured yet i came out with not a scratch on me. Am i feeling guilt here? that i came out the best so now its triggered a depression? And i agree with religeon, its practically done nothing for me and i think thats because of the state im in. But no i dont blame God or Jesus, although i find myself asking alot of questions on why the world is like it is today. But thats probably cos of my negative attitude. Leave religeon alone until i striaghten myself out then go back to it and i will probably understand why.

But thanks for the advice and keep it coming. I got a PM from another subsimmer and his advice on the medication has made me want to give it a go. I gotta go back to the docs today so will tell him.

Thanks everyone thats answered! :up:

Aaaahhhhhh... almost classical ! :lol:

Im actually getting better advice from here than i have from my doctor in the past 3 weeks. :D

Yup kapitain i will get in contact with you, ive been pretty slack and not answering my msn to anyone.

Thanks again for your help guys its a real booster. :up:

Id tell you a story of mine but i dont want to depress you even more.

Come on over to aussie for a holiday .

And avoid Tom Cruise! :P

Do volunteer and charity work but one where you will be enthused by the results of your work. For example, DO NOT volunteer to work in a hospice for the dying. :nope: DO volunteer for something like being a big brother to a child who needs someone to look up to, as long as the child does not carry a switchblade on him. :88)

And sing!

Gray skies are gonna clear up
Put on a happy face
Wipe off the clouds and cheer up
Put on a happy face

Take off the gloomy mask of tragedy
It's not your style
You'll look so good that you'll be glad
That you decided to smile

Pick out a pleasant outlook
Stick out that nobel chin
Wipe off that full of doubt look
Snap on a happy grin

Spread sunshine all over the place
And just put on a happy
Put on a happy face

Gray skies are gonna clear up
Put on a happy face
Wipe off the clouds and cheer up
Put on a happy face

Take off the gloomy mask of tragedy
It's not your style
You'll look so good that you'll be glad
That you decided to smile

Pick out a pleasant outlook
Stick out that noble chin
Wipe off that full of doubt look
Snap on a happy grin

Spread sunshine all over the place
And just put on a happy
Put on a happy face

:D :D :D
:D :D :D
:D :D :D

Ah, a singing contest...! :D


When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on
Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on

'Cause everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on

Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts. You are not alone

(by R.E.M.)


Doesn't help, but kills time until things became better all by themselves :lol:



And another favourite of mine:


If life is a river and your heart is a boat
And just like a water baby, born to float,
And if life is a wild wind that blows way on high,
And your heart is Amelia dying to fly,
Heaven knows no frontiers and I've seen heaven in your eyes

And if life is a bar room in which we must wait,
'round the man with his fingers on the ivory gates,
Where we sing until dawn of our fears and our fates,
And we stack all the dead men in self addressed crates,
In your eyes faint as the singing of a lark,
That somehow this black night,
Feels warmer for the spark,
Warmer for the spark,
To hold us 'til the day,
When fear will lose its grip,
And heaven has its way,
Heaven knows no frontiers,
And I've seen heaven in your eyes

If your life is a rough bed of brambles and nails,
And your spirit's a slave to man's whips and man's jails,
Where you thirst and you hunger for justice and right,
And your heart is a pure flame of man's constant night,
In your eyes faint as the singing of a lark,
That somehow this black night,
Feels warmer for the spark,
Warmer for the spark,
To hold us 'til the day when fear will lose its grip,
And heaven has its way,
And heaven has its way,
When all will harmonise,
And know what's in our hearts,
The dream will realise

Heaven knows no frontiers,
And I've seen heaven in your eyes,
Heaven knows no frontiers,
And I've seen heaven in your eyes

(J. McCarthy)


Corrs live forever! ;)