Sadly Bereaved
 

Mildred, 93, was despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl, so she decided to just kill herself and join him in death.

Thinking it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place.
Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to learn her heart's exact location. "Since you're a woman," the doctor said, "your heart is just below your left breast. Why do you ask?" She hung up without answering.

Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.

I read that to my wife.

She sarcastically replied "Very funny!".

Thanks Jim! :up:

Do you know for how long they were married?

:rotfl2: Good one!

:haha: That's bad Jim,:yep: when she's walking it gives new meaning to the word knockers!!:oops::har:

http://img101.imageshack.us/img101/2772/thumbsupgv0.gif

Do you know what a 50 year old woman has between her breasts that a 20 year old woman doesn't?






Her naval.

:D

ROFL jim, took me a second and then it hit me all at once :rotfl2:

Me too... :oops:

As long as it wasn't in the face!!:haha:

What about the foot? :salute:

Good one Jim ... got any I can share with my pastor?

A pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express Praise for answered prayers.

A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise: two months ago my husband, Jim, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his Scrotum was smashed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know If they could help him."

She continued, "Jim was unable to hold me or the children and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate Operation. They were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Jim's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."

The men in the congregation squirmed uncomfortably.

She continued, "Now Jim is out of the hospital and the doctors say that, with time, his scrotum should recover completely."

All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had anything to say.

A man rose and walked to the podium. He said, "Good morning, I'm Jim and I want to tell my wife ONCE AGAIN that the word is STERNUM."

:har::har::har::har::har: