SUBSIM Radio Room Forums - The Ten Commandments of Marriage

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The Ten Commandments of Marriage

Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven. But then again, so is thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9.
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wife sometimes treats husband like toxic waste.

Commandment 10.
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished

Marriage is like a three ring circus

First there is the Engagement Ring
Second there is the Wedding Ring
Third there is the Suffering.

<rimshot>

Quote:

Originally Posted by Platapus

Marriage is like a three ring circus

First there is the Engagement Ring
Second there is the Wedding Ring
Third there is the Suffering.

<rimshot>

LOL my uncle says that all the time, then he adds the boxing ring.

you forgot about making home movies:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOuI3...eature=related

My wife got a good laugh from them!:haha:

Quote:

Originally Posted by U-84

LOL my uncle says that all the time, then he adds the boxing ring.

Never heard that one.... but it fits. :)

This one is better spoken as it involves homophones.

The difference between a husband and a wife is how they perceived the wedding.

The husband was thinking of Her, the Aisle, and the Alter.

The wife was thinking: I'll alter him

HaHaHa..Funny stuff :DL But i have to say that with out my wife of 11 years I would be sorely lost,.. With all my Egos and the strange things i say and do She is still my best friend, (I love you Baby!!) :up:

And knowing all of this we still love them dearly!:yeah: