Stupid Skipper Trick # 14
 

I saw the pigeon coming from a long away off. Patiently manouvered into a good postion..our approach will bring him to within 700 yards.. at a 90 degree angle. Raised scope.Took all the necessary TDC data observations. Input them. Checked the solution. Dang near perfect. Ordered General Quarters. Opened torpedo doors. Just sitting there waiting for the turkey to strut into range.

Then suddenly...he not only starts a crazy zig zag ..but opens fire...look XO... was it too much to ask of you to remind me that I forgot to pull the plug??? I got a lot on my mind during these attack runs you know?..You're beached bub, if we ever get back to Brisbane.:nope:

You never did anything as foolish as that...right?...:lol:..No of course not...

Ha ha :rotfl: that's a good one.

I tried to crash dive in 40 feet of water to avoid aircraft once or twice, drove the thing right into the seabed not the brightest thing I have ever done.

:oops:

I often mistakenly leave the periscope up when I'm trying to be sneaky and stealthy, and then wonder why airplanes are bombing the poop out of me. :dead:

Diving to PD to avoid airplanes, forgetting that they can now see me submergerd with RFB. :nope:

running out of fuel 200 miles from Pearl is my latest blunder.....

Priceless :rotfl: :rotfl: :damn:

I'm yo-yoing with the sub. Running TC 1000x until plane detected, ramp it up to 16x, dive if neccessary, ramp up to 64x, wait for 5 minutes, go to radar depth, surface if all clear: normal procedure. Went real good. I had to dive, ramped time compression up to 64x at 100', waited the 5 minutes, stabbed the semicolon and forgot that Ducimus had just reprogrammed the semicolon to steep dive.... CRUNCH!
http://i196.photobucket.com/albums/a...tingsmilie.gif......................................:eek:<--Ducimus

I was backing down and lining up a stern shot. I had outer doors open and tube 5 selected (Salmon Class) when I realized I had closed and then crossed the track. I continued backing to set up a bow shot. Got a good set up however when it was time to fire I shot the stern tubes :damn:

Whenever I do that I mix up port & starboard. "Right Full Rudder!" - "I Mean Left! Your Left !!!" :88) "Ah heck with it. Secure from Battlestations":doh:

:hmm: ...Its a lot like watching the wife back the truck and boat on a trailer down to the boat ramp while you stand by making ready to unhitch... isn't it? :o

It would be easier if the rudder dial happened to be labeled port and starboard instead of left and right.

I just keep my eye on the sub's bow...determine which direction it should travel in order to get the stern to go where it needs to.. and apply OPPOSITE rudder...after the brain does a quick translation to right/left from port starboard....

....piece of cake really...becomes almost second nature after about the 1,437th time of screwing it up...:yep:

A long time ago, I read a book about WW2 by some Adm.(maybe Halsey?) and he talked about keeping a piece of paper in his safe for when he got stressed out or something, anyway on the paper it said "port is left, starboard is right"

Urge

Handy way to remember them.:rotfl:

I misstook a Lexington for a Japanese CV, and for once none of my torpedoes happened to be duds. I'd take it is even more stupid. :doh:

Oooochhhh...I would hate to have to explain away a whole Lexington Class carrier back at Pearl....what happend to you?..any penalty?


...but isn't it too "funny" how those duds aren't duds when just you want/need them to be...:nope:


I wouldn't try it myself , but I do expect... if you fired a single torpedo from a stern tube in the general direction of a friendly vessel from 11000 yards in Heavy seas, heavy precip and heavy fog..set for 5 foot depth...it would invariably hit amidships and sink whatever it chanced to be..carrier..battleship...crusier...:shifty: ..but then I'm a natural born pessimist... ;)....experience tends to make one so you know...:yep: