Pearl Harbor - Mystery Science Theater Style!
 

Two silly Australian guys sit down, watch Pearl Harbor, and tear into it for the entire three hour duration, starting here:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=4nwZSxMtvtI

Due to YouTube's restrictions, they've divided it into 18 parts. It's not entirely hilarious, but they do a great job pointing out how ridiculous the entire movie is. I've never actually seen it before, but Christ, even the attack scene, the part everyone raves over, was completely ridiculous. Let's tally up some of the inanity in that sequence, shall we?

• The Japanese doing an airshow flyby of the base before actually bombing it.
• The fact that all of the explosions are so explosively explosive that even the explosions seem to explode.
• The Arizona blows up two minutes into the attack, and is basically treated as some kind of joke (durrr! that cook won't finish peeling his potatoes now!:roll:)
• Oh, and when the Oklahoma capsizes, it lifts itself out of the water, rears up by the stern at a 30 degree angle, and manages to roll completely over, in 40 FEET OF WATER!
• The Japanese planes zipping between the American ships like X-wing fighters in the Death Star trench.
• The row of Spruance-class destroyers that gets blown up at least three times.
• Actually, I also noticed an Ohio-class BB, a Knox FF, and at least one modernish LST in the harbor as well.
• Cuba Gooding Jr. raining a merciless hail of bullets on the hapless sailors on the ship next to him.
• The Japanese task force is composed mostly of modern American warships, and is clumped together in a group maybe a mile across.
• Josh and Ben manage to destroy a bunch of Zeros in their P-40s a in turning fight. And the Japanese have at least 10 opportunities to kill these guys, but keep missing by inches every time they have a clear shot. Oh, and both side's planes seem to have 50,000 rounds of machine gun ammunition. Yeah, right.

• There's absolutely no blood, and when they finally show the hospital scene, the camera lens is covered with enough vaseline to ram it through Gibraltar. Bomb victims just get tossed through the air like ragdolls.

I could go on for ages, but give this video a shot. It might make you laugh your ass off. Or not. Who knows. They've also given the same treatment to Titanic, but it's not quite as funny.

1. There's no Crow or Tom Servo!:nope:
2. I'm not falling for this trick to actually watch Pearl Harbor a second time.:dead:


I did manage to find part 10/18 is when the bomb hits the Arizona.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

So is it not as realistic as U-571 was http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/181...kbigsw1yo4.gif

I especially loved the bomb falling straight down. And the whole thing on the side of the liner.

Seriously... What the hell?

Yep, Oklahoma turns completely upside down. And then the rescue team up on top of the keel manages to cut a section loose just in time for a drowning victim's arm to come out of the hole, along with a whole bunch of the water they drowned in...and all this takes place thirty feet above the new waterline!

I'm sure I once read on a forum that in one scene over the harbour you can actually see a helicopter and a vapour trail off a high altitude jet plane.

The harbor's full of DDG. Trust me, no one's looking for a tiny helicopter :-D

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

That is brilliant.

The Japanese "guncamera view" scenes when they strafe the harbor are shot from helicopter. ;)

That's right, it was a film crew :yep:

They even joke about how the Zero's machine guns in that shot appear to be jutting out about 15 feet, as if they'd gotten a hardon from all that death and destruction! :rotfl:

Oh, and did anyone else notice Josh 'n Ben's convertible outrunning the five Zeroes chasing them? :roll:

Starting with part 9/18, let's play "spot the modern warship!"

http://i32.tinypic.com/33c6u11.jpg

http://i25.tinypic.com/8vop4l.jpg

http://i29.tinypic.com/ri96aa.jpg

http://i27.tinypic.com/26vxx.jpg

http://i26.tinypic.com/11rqhbt.jpg

http://i26.tinypic.com/280mhkz.jpg

http://i30.tinypic.com/2mhealk.jpg

http://i28.tinypic.com/2sbtkq9.jpg

http://i29.tinypic.com/2ewcjd0.jpg

http://i26.tinypic.com/2r24pc6.jpg

Ah, screw it. I give up.

Isn't that the stern of a nucear sub on the left side of the screen in part 16 @ 3:01? :lol: