Domestic Hints For When Not Busy Sinking Ships
 

> 1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water
> down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
>
> 2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to
> hold while you chop.
>
> 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using
> the sink.
>
> 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a
> few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a
> timer.
>
> 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from
> rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
>
> 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will
> be afraid to cough.
>
> 7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't
> move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the
> duct tape.
>
> 8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
>
>
> Daily Thought: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR
> ANYTHING..... BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE DRAIN.

It's funny coz you pasted a chain e-mail.

Sounds like tip on getting your wife to divorce you!:hmm:

That's one of my few successes :smug:

Thats how I live my life!! If you cant fix it with those tools, its either not broken yet, or its spare parts for you next crazy idea

me and a friend (apollo on the forums) took a golf cart up a 4WD road once. I managed to break the Stabalizing arm. We didnt drive it any more that trip, but once we got home, we duct taped it back together, which held until we managed to find time to weld it a year later

Ah! Duct tape!:) It's lake the force from star wars. It had a dark side, a light side and holds the universe together!:lol: