SUBSIM Radio Room Forums - With Apologies to Edgar Allan Poe...

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a curious sonar contact - strong and poor;
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a rapping,
As of someone gently tapping, tapping on the ocean floor.
'Tis some escort, I did mutter, 'feeling out the ocean floor,
Only this- and nothing more.

Oh how clearly I remember, it was in the bleak December,
And each one of my ship's members, was exhausted, bruised and sore.
Eagerly I prayed the weather - 'smaller waves would be much better
Merchant ships would be much deader, and we'd be heading back to shore'.
To that rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named "The Shore"
Nameless here for evermore.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no Captain ever dared to dream before
Suddenly the spell was broken, by words my sonarman had spoken,
'These escorts really are a-smokin!.. And I count three of them..no four!
They won't know what hit them, will they, nor what it is they have in store'
Quoth the XO, 'Nevermore.'

'Make our depth some thirteen metres, to our guests, let's be the greeters'
And upped the scope to scan and see which wicked flag they proudly bore.
Not a lamp nor light stood shining, thus I stared and sat devining,
Until suddenly I spotted lining, known around the whole world o'er.
The English flag's familiar lining, known around the whole world o'er.
She would fly, ah, nevermore!

'Flood tubes two and four and quickly, let's make this cursed convoy sickly
Send these wretched vessels, to the cold and clammy ocean floor.'
Thus I fired, barely thinking, three ships fates' I now was linking
Three true hits now sent them sinking, mortally struck them at their core,
Three torrid torps had reached three ships -mortally struck them at their core
Doomed them to sail but nevermore.

And my U-boat, diving deeper, turned many Tommies into weepers,
As she softly headed home to friendly forces by our shore;
No ship is safe upon this water, nor from sonar, nor from spotter,
Nor from gunner, nor from plotter, 'Allies! Stay home, I implore!
Eternity awaits you only, no friendly port, just heaven's door -
Victims of U-three-three-four!'

;)