Environmental crises at Fedje
 

First the German u-boat wreck seeping quicksilver, now this: 290+ tonnes of oil has escaped a wrecked tanker near the island of Fedje, Bergen city, Norway:o.

I swear, that damned rock of an island is cursed. I'm glad I live down here in the Fana district.
It appears international media hasn't picked up the story yet, but here's a Norse article with pictures:

http://www.bt.no/multimedia/archive/00307/1_307630c.jpg

300 tonnes ain't much.

Recover this oil, put it in a big reservoir, then use the oil to feed a giant Lighthouse, I'm talking Pharos-of-Alexandria giant-size here.

Fine, that won't stop mechanical accidents. Fear not, you won't build an ordinary giant Lighthouse, no. This Lighthouse will also be the first of its kind to feature long-range Flamethrower-cannons. A mix between a Flamethrower and a fireball "launcher". What it does is simple: it sinks or diverts drifting ships before they can reach the, uhhh, "reefs", or "reefjords", I don't know. The derelict vessels will change course after enough fireball impact. This will send them off to Britain, probably, but who cares anyway, as long as you provide enough of the Purple Bags it's all good, otherwise, the council "won't collect" and you'll be fined.

You think I'm insane? Well, think again: how do you think dust trucks carry so much trash before unloading? Because they compact the trash while running? That's what the government wants you to think in order to hide the real big secret. Every garbage truck is in fact an upgraded and heavily "tuned" (modified) clown car. It doesn't compact the waste, it simply keeps on filling because it never gets filled! Actually, that's not the whole truth, there is some compacting going on, but just a little: all 300 clowns that ride inside every garbage truck live off the eadible trash, "compacting" it a bit. Not that it makes a difference anyway since it's a bottomless container.

Send in the Clowns
Where are the Clowns
Well maybe next year

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: