Christmas Cracker Jokes
 

Christmas Cracker Jokes


What do you call Russian Napkins ? Soviets


Why did the Scarecrow get a promotion ? because he was outstanding in the Field

Wow, language barrier on the first one. I must research.

What do you call someone from Florida that burst into flames?


A Fire Cracker.

Moira didn't get any crackers this year so I've had to make up my own jokes... how about this

Q: What is the dolphins' favourite Christmas carol?

A: The First Narwhal :D

That's a whale of a joke... :D






<O>

It served its porpoise

Is this for "Novel"? Wait, was there a Narwhal in the stable?
And why dou call this 'carol', you could call it as well a christmas evelyn? :hmmm:
English... :o

No-No-No-No-Noel!

And I don't know why we call them Carols... they might as well be called Moiras

What did Santa do when he went speed dating?

He pulled a cracker.

Q: What kind of pizza does Santa like?

A: Deep pan crisp and even

Why did Santa go to the doctor?
Because of his bad "elf"!

Santa's motorbike?

A Holly Davidson

How many letters in the Alphabet???

25, the Angel said Noel.

Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can 'ho ho ho'!

What's our dog's favourite Christmas carol?

Bark, The Herald Angels Sing

Why does the Angel at the top of the Xmas tree have a long dress???

Cause she's got bad legs.

What do sheep say to each other at Christmastime?
Merry Christmas to ewe!

What do sheep say to shepherds at Christmastime?
Season's Bleatings!

"How the Angel got on top of the Christmas Tree"

"It was a particularly bad year for Santa and before he knew it, Christmas Eve had arrived and he wasn't ready.

The elves were on strike.
The reindeer were unruly and during a test run had crashed the sleigh.
No one was cleaning the stables and the smell was horrible.
Rudolph's nose wouldn't light because he had a cold.
Mrs. Clause, having burned batches of cookies, was refusing to bake any more until the oven was fixed; and, to top it off she was endlessly nagging poor Santa.

It was about the time that Santa was at the end of his patience with the Christmas Angel descended from the heavens and said:

"Santa, I have your Christmas tree. Where should I stick it?"






(already posted this in the joke thread but i guess it was waltzed over by Jim's jokes :O:)