I wrote a novel about cargo submarines. I need submarine geeks for test readers!
 

Hello everyone!

I spent my unemployed pandemic time writing a submarine novel. It has
reached a point where it is a complete and revised book, and it is now ready
for some constructive feedback from test readers. A novel is a kind of
submarine simulator, isn't it?

If you are interested, you can one-click download a free copy in epub, pdf,
html, or markdown source-code format here:

https://bysoundalone.net/

And look! It comes with diagrams I made too!:
https://www.subsim.com/radioroom/att...8&d=1691524107
How can anyone resist a submarine story that has diagrams?

What's it like?

Well, it's kind of an alternative-history book (though don't take that to mean
what "alternative-history" usually means -- Hitler didn't win the war in this
book). Here, the political conditions on the surface of the planet have
degraded to the point where global trade is forced to be carried out by cargo
submarines. This book is the story of one of those cargo subs.

So it's not much like other submarine stories. It might have more in common
with 1970s trucker movies than 1950s submarine movies.

Despite being vividly a fictional tale, I tried very hard to make sure the
submarine technology in it is realistic and believable for a submarine
sometime just after WWII. I did a lot of research and, unless I screwed up,
there should be nothing in the book that isn't totally viable for a submarine
from that period. (Having said that, almost everything I know about
submarine tech I learned from playing way too much of the rogue-like
Sub Commander. Thanks @TheGeoff for putting that in my life!)

This book contains no super-futuristic, imagined, or "magic" technology. I
think for someone who understands the basics of how mid-century subs
worked, there will be a lot of rewarding details because of all the research I
did. At the same time, I tried to make this book an accessible page-turner.
And it is action packed!

If you read it, reach out to me via PM, through github, or
through email. I have a number of specific things I'm interested in gathering
feedback on.

And if you read it, you know, thanks! Thanks so much!

Oh boy, I did not see this until now, downloaded the pdf version, thanks!:Kaleun_Cheers:

Trying to figure a way to get this on my kindle...

...and it starts off with motorcycles, love it :shucks:

Reading it now.

Page 3 error...........

Today the same need — to know
when one is running low on fuel — is met my a sophisticated
sensor mounted in the tank,

Should be met by

On page 64, pretty interesting so far!

Pidgeon in it isn't too bad
 

download pdf some nice reading for bed time thanks :Kaleun_Cheers: all the best when u get it printed :Kaleun_Applaud:

Oh that's rad! I thought for a while this thread just disappeared down a
hole. And if I couldn't get folks on subsim to read it, who ever would?

I hope you got it going on your kindle. The epub version should work:
https://grannycart.net/subworld-page...orldbook1.epub

And I'll obviously take corrections for any dumb mistakes I made.

But I think from the subsim crew what I'd really like to see is opinions
about the technical aspects. I tried really hard to make the mechanical
and technical aspects realistic (I read a LOT about mid-century
submarines) but who is going to check me on that if it isn't you guys?
Certainly not my hippie uncle (who enjoyed the book, but didn't have any
comments on the mechanics).

Regardless, I really appreciate you reading it. And if you enjoy it,
pass it on! That's the only way I'll ever get this thing off the ground.

Kindle addiction
 

Thanks so much, will get this on my Kindle tonight. The story
sounds very interesting. Can't wait to read this.


:Kaleun_Cheers:Danke!


EDIT: Just followed your link and it loaded right up in Kindle.

I have a voracious appetite for books, and the only thing better than
books is free books :D

Diagrams are awesome btw

You made my day! I hope it doesn't disappoint.

I guess I'm really looking for that audience that is middle of the
Venn diagram of people with voracious appetites for books those who
are into submarines. Maybe there's more people in that intersection
than I would predict!

If anyone wants an actual paper copy, you can DM me. I've got some
extra copies. I'd just have to figure out covering shipping or
something.

Cargo subs kept me up last night
 

@toothandnail


You are a very good writer, I am really enjoying this. I stayed up a good 2 hours past my bed time reading. I will finish it and if you want give you my critique via personal message.
I read a lot and won't waste my time on bad stuff. I will definitely finish this.
I feel like I stumbled into a bit of a gem with this one.



Super impressed :Kaleun_Applaud:

What you should look at is the number of viewers of this thread 1,189 Person has been here. Maybe not all of them has downloaded your novel, some of them may have read part of it.

I myself has downloaded the e-book and have read some pages so far.

I'm one of those who can't give you feedback on technicality

Markus

You guys are the first people to read it that I don't know personally.
That means a lot to me! I feel more inspired to get going on the next
edit-pass through the novel, something I have been putting off because I
didn't have a sense of who might read this thing.

I welcome all feedback/corrections. But in addition to
technical/mechanical fixes, I'm particularly interested in places where
the book feels like it drags (or if you give up on reading it -- where
did that happen?) I don't want it to be a boring book! Really trying for
a page-turner here.

@Shady Bill: I admire the discipline of a person who can STOP reading
bad books. That's definitely the best way to get a lot more books
read. I definitely look forward to your thoughts on it.

@mapuc: I hope you're right and there's silent hundreds checking it
out. Especially since Subsim is currently the only place I have posted
it online.

^ To find out how many who may have downloaded your e-book. You could make a post here in this thread where you ask us whether we have downloaded the e-book or not and if we have or is reading it.

Like
Have you downloaded my e-book

"Yes and I have read it"
"Yes I am reading it/about to read it"
"No I haven't/Not interested"

I would make the poll secret.

Only an idea nothing else


Markus

Enjoying it so far.

so good oO
 

No problem, I will give you my notes of it after I am done. It is actually really fun to read and has drawn me in. I have been a bit busier than usual so I have not been able to read quite as fast, but should be able to finish it in the next 2 weeks.


I absolutely am having a blast reading it. It is very good. so good, I would think this could be published. I honestly think you could sell this.

I absolutely love the characters. I am not a very fast reader, because I visualize everything I read. A book is only good when it reads like a play or a movie to me. If things are described well; the characters, their flaws, their strengths, their looks..I can visualize this grande play almost in my head. Instead of something I just read, things become more like "scenes" if that makes sense...


anyways, your book reads that nicely, where I can visualize my surroundings inside the story. That makes it a very interesting and well written book for me.



I urge you to complete this project to its full fruition. To do anything less would be a disservice to your talents. This is something to be proud of.

In my reading I've noticed that he may have been influenced by Tom Clancy. I could be wrong, it "feels" like reading Tom Clancy between the lines.

Markus

audience and stuff
 

@Shady Bill: "I can visualize this grande play almost in my head.
Instead of something I just read" -- That's what it's like when I'm
writing it too. I can see this stuff in my head, I just write down
what I see. (A quick aside: that's the reason I prefer "roguelikes" to
any other style of video game -- because when the graphics are just
ASCII characters, the game is more in your head that it is on the
screen. Like reading a good book.)

@Mapuc: I'll take that Tom Clancy association as a compliment! The
dude may have been a little off his rocker, but he sure knew how to
put together a page-turner with submarines in it.

Thanks guys. Your encouragement definitely has me plotting the next
round edits, which I think will get it to a place where I'd be pretty
happy to share it widely.

No matter how good it is though, I suspect the subject matter might
have a pretty limited audience. I'm not sure how many submarine novel
reading people there are left in the world. Or, at least it seems like
it wouldn't be very many where there's no Nazis or Russians in the
book. That could be the limiting factor on getting it published by any
conventional place. But maybe that's fine too. Maybe I just keep it
going under and open-content license and let it just get out there.

Any thoughts on audience and distribution are definitely welcome too.
That part is harder than the actual writing, I think.

Page 90 - opinions so far.
 

I did some more reading. Made it to page 90 this morning with my coffee.

Just to give you heads up; I did not read the preface. I want to go into a book knowing nothing about it. I want to have no preconceived notions of the world I am about to enter.

What I really like (having read to page 90)

1) So far, I have no idea what year it is or where this takes place. At this point, the story could be a sci-fi story about some sort of steampunk submarine, in a strange, infinitely deep ocean on a strange planet. This is great! I absolutely love this. It almost feels like Mad Max on water, with subs. Especially when Percy's sub first gets rammed by the Authority sub.

2) The whole scene describing their sub sinking and them fighting to avoid this. Really well described, it reads very "fast", like an action movie. You have no need to worry about not adding enough real life submarine science...more than enough is there for an average reader. I think any more would bog the story down.


3) I enjoy the characters, but I will say having read only to page 90; I don't feel like I know them yet. I want to know more about their backgrounds. But all that might still come :03:

4) So far, for me the three stars are Percy, Hemi and Shakes. I have high hopes for Shakes. We just ran into that crazy bastard when we surfaced Prospect.


What I do not like:


1) There is too much swearing. I am not bothered by foul language one bit. I tend to find it charming as it gives the characters an edgy, saltiness.
You are overdoing it here. There is *way* to many F-bombs. There are also some expressions that could be considered offensive to women. I guess it is your choice, but it could alienate some. I don't mind a little swearing to create character, but there are times it is off-putting (at least for me). This of course, is a rough draft, so no problems there.

2) Sort of because part 1 above, I don't like the Chip character (page 21 we meet her). I think the whole "edgy, gruff mechanic girl fixing the sub or the spaceship" has been often done before. If you want to use this type of arch-character, I need to know way more about her. But again, i am only at page 90.

Can't wait to read more. Very impressed so far. I almost hope it doesn't become a WW2 type thing. Not sure if the sci fi genre has touched on alien deep ocean travel. But whatever comes, I am sure it will be very interesting.

I will update more as I read tonight and tomorrow morning. I wanted you to know I am taking the time to really experience the book. When I am done I will do a character analysis of all the main characters.

Audience
 

I wouldn't aim for ww2 historian submarine aficionados. I would make this a crazy post apocalyptic story or a strange sci-fi western on the water. That is what the book feels like the first 100 pages. And that is a pretty novel concept. But not having read the whole thing, I need to finish it first.



It feels like a cross between Mad Max and Water World in my mind :D *especially* after just having met Shakes on the Gnat.

Yes it was a compliment to your writing.

I have however to agree on what Bill wrote-There's to many F-words.

Try to find substitute for these F-words.

When you are finish with the book I would recommend you to let someone do the proofreading

Markus