Granted, but not as volatile as this:.
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.http://www.united-nations-of-beer.co...s/superfat.jpg





I wish wishes had fewer calories.

Granted, you become the official tester for New Diet Wishes, Zero Calories, Zero fulfillment. Too bad they also have no substance and are loaded with toxic chemicals.

I wish I knew what this stupid key unlocked.

Granted it opens Pandora's Box and now all of the evils of mankind escaped. Thanks buddy!

I wish I had some nice shrimp with lobster sauce for dinner yum

Granted, the shrimp came from the harbor (actually near a dry dock) and the sauce was "recycled" from a dumpster... Bon appetite!

I wish for an unlimited quantity of legal tender currency...

Granted, here is your fortune... in pennies....dropped on your head...all at the same time

I wish my internet connection would not be dropping so much tonight

Granted It is dorpping all tomorrow.

i wish I could stop feeling like we were on are boat still.:-?

Granted, you now feel like a ton of pennies have been dropped on your head

I wish I could successfully circumnavigate the globe with only a spoon and a rubber duck in 10 days

Granted, you could....but only if the airline allowed you to inflate your rubber duck inflight.

I wish work was finished before it started.

Granted, but that means only work in cue can be done.

I wish that people weren't lazy.

Granted, they are now hardworking. But they just can't seem to find a job. They can't help you with housework right now, either, because they have a stomachache. But they'll do it first thing tommorrow. Oh wait, they forgot they had a thing tommorrow. Well, they'll get back to lyou later about it. Also, could you bring them a beer?

Their feet hurt, too.

Please?
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I wish I could invent something useful.

Granted, but the beer is poisoned with the blood of a cow that's been rotting for a week in the hot sun of the Great Plains.

I wish that people could never lie.

Granted, they often stand as well.

I wish this horrible bitch sitting opposite me hadn't asked for a lift to the doctors.

Granted, she want's a lift home to yours for a bit of how's yer father.

I wish Jim would stop going on about the bitch sitting opposite him.

Granted, but then he started blabbing about another horrible bitch sitting beside him... :lol:

I wish that I have an authentic, functional, indestructible, never will go ape on me WWII Jeep with a working .50 cal M2 Browning...

Granted, you're a fat, divorced, obsessed American WW2 re-enactor whose only joy in life is the jeep he will have to maitain for the short bit of his life that remains before he dies of a heart-attack. Also you must feel shamed that German re-enactors have cooler unifroms and gear. And for once, they outnumber Americans.

Granted, you die horribly for breaking the rules of the thread

I wish UnderseaLcpl would learn how to play, again

Granted, UnderseaLcpl now adheres to the thread rules and every time you, Raptor1, post a dream, no one but him can crush it, over, and over and over for all eternity...

I wish for someone to crush this wish in the most crushing manner possible...

Granted, your wish is crushed against a black hole by a dozen neutron stars travelling at 90% of the velocity of light. It is then chopped up, ground into a powder, mixed with swamp sludge and eaten by a small yappy dog.

I wish the light at the end of the tunnel was not an oncoming train.

Granted, it is now the police helicopter's searchlight, they finally got to you

I wish the Commies would all die

Granted, but then we have a problem with Fascists!

I wish Red China would have a very embarrasing Olympics...