Granted, but for you this works out to about 25 grams. Better take it easy on the stuff.

I wish that I could get those images of Nikimcbee's sweetheart out of my brain.

Granted, but this is the image you use to block it:

http://ekonefe.files.wordpress.com/2.../ugly-alan.jpg

I wish I owned a TARDIS

Granted, but you forget where you left it.

I wish the bitch sitting opposite me would stop picking her nose.

Granted, but then she would start picking your nose instead.

I wish mornings came a little later in the day (yawn).

Granted, Earth's rotation is slowed significantly, leading to scorching days, frigid nights, and unprecedented storm activity.

I wish string theory was fun.

Granted, but now nights come out twice as late

EDIT: Damn you, UnderseaLcpl

Granted, it's so fun that you waste the rest of your life on it and have no time to crush dreams at all

I wish jimbuna would get rid of the bitch sitting opposite to him once and for all

Granted, she has left Jimbuna's place of employ to come and live with you. Bad habits and all...

I wish there were no carp in our rivers.

Granted, the only thing your hook catches from now on is the odd 'cart'.

I wish nervous tension was fun.

Granted, but the nervous tension dropped you straight to the hospital...

I wish my sister was mute.

Granted, now she can't warn you of the train that's about to ram your house

I wish trains needed roads and cars needed rails

Granted, now all transport is 'railroaded'.

I wish itches didn't tickle.

Granted: they now sting like hell. Hope your not going to be crying all night coz your B*l**x are itchy :rotfl:

I wish my DREAM could be crushed,not my ego;)

Granted, you are now forever haunted by nightmares!

I wish every one followed the law...

Granted, but that means all television shows and video games about crime will cease to exist. Law & Order, Reno! 911, COPS, and hundreds of others go off the air for good since nobody can come up with new ideas for anything criminal. The Grand Theft Auto game series and thousands of other games are ceased in production due to their violent nature and due to the fact that, like the TV shows, no new ideas are coming up for criminal content. This turns the market on its head. The world undergoes rapid changes that result in madness all over. People are now living longer and happier lives, but the economies of every country on Earth suffer (save for some of the sh*t countries who have never heard of the glorious invention of TV or radio). Unfortunately, this causes overpopulation and crowding. Humans start using more and more resources. They starve the world and deprive it of everything natural. Eventually, the human race goes extinct due to all these problems, and apes rise in a few thousand years to dominate the planet and recolonize it. Sadly, a meteor strikes shortly thereafter and reduces Earth to a barren wasteland. A thousand years later, an alien craft arrives on Earth's surface and begins exploring the planet. Nothing is found. It is labeled as a desert world that never was capable of supporting life. The legacy of those who once lived there will not live on, forgotten and lost to this sci-fi like excavation. The sun burns out, and the planet is destroyed. Nothing more exists in this corner of the Milky Way. Eventually, the galaxy collides with the Andromeda Galaxy, and thousands of planets are destroyed. Billions of years later, the Big Rip occurs, and all that once existed is lost. Our universe no longer exists. There is nothing. Reality is a falsehood. A color beyond space is all that will be seen; WOULD be seen. The other dimensions/universes meet fates similar to this. Nothing exists anymore. There's really nothing out there. No more universes or anything. Nothing exists. There's no god or anything. Who knows what is beyond existence (because nothing exists, yet something must remain). We certainly won't know, and even if we could, would we want to know? Could we even understand? These questions... must stay unanswered for the good of mankind and all other creatures in the universe and in the other 11 universes.

I wish that Zero would stop clawing my fingers as I type.

Granted, but instead he curls up on your keyboard, depressing the keys in exactly the right sequence to re-format your hard drive. His response your discovering this is to purr happily.

I wish Subsimmers were entitled to free beer delivery, favorite brand in any quantity desired and all for free.

@Stealth Hunter
Damn, now that's a dream crushed! :cry: :arrgh!:

Now, for some dream crushing...

Granted, but your relatives will shoulder the expenses since there's such thing as a free beer. But then your relatives ostracize you from the family and you will die a broken, lonely person...

I wish sleep and rest is not required by humans in order to survive...

Granted. Everybody survives without sleep or rest but they ae too damn dog-tired to do anything at all, so eventually civilisation grinds to a halt.

I wish that I could hear colours.

Granted, but you can't hear anything else and is taken to a sanitarium for making no sense at all

I wish I could murder (Only me) without getting persecuted by the law or anybody else

Granted, but by murdering only you, it is suicide. While this is not illegal in itself, your estate is sued for the emotional distress caused to fellow subsimmers when you can no longer participate in dream-crushing.

I wish Raptor1 would not throw himself under the wheels of that Robin Reliant.

Granted, he instead throws himself under the wheels of a Trabant.

I wish I owned one of these:
http://www.popularwealth.com/funny-p...ilitary-05.jpg