A. Only when the veil of fate is pulled aside to reveal the view.

Q. Do you want to have foresight?

Only when it's too late.


Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Because this is America and we have to learn the hard way.

Do they do that in England also?

Have to ask the British.

Do you use recycled toilet paper?:o

A. Each sheet has two sides. Using an old almanac cut up into squares and hanging from a peg inside the old outdoor dunny is a form of recycling, and gives you something to read at the same time.:cool:

Q. How do they make toilet paper so soft?

They soak it in urine first.

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?

Because hemorrhoids are indigenous, asteroids are extraterrestrial.


Do hemorrhoids cause piles, or is it vice-versa?

You can get piles of haemorrhoids but not haemorrhoids of piles.

What can we do to stop the pain?

Arse transplant. Beware the donor arse may reject you.


Would our feelings be hurt by such a betrayal?

My backside is always insulting me, but I take it with a grain of salt-substitute.

If you cannot hear and you fart in the woods, and no one else is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

A. Even if there is no-one to hear it, the pesky bears will smell it!

Q. Would the wind from a fart knocking a butterfly off course, cause a typhoon somewhere else in the world?

No.

Why would you even ask that? (:))

Only he knows the answer to that.

Why are highways build so close to the ground?

A. It costs less. Also stops vertigo.

Q. What is the sound of the underground?

Too easy...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwVqOs3Aess


Can you stick your fist up a ducks arse and make money?

Depends on how tight the duck is


Do you think the duck would mind?

http://file005.bebo.com/mediuml/2006...19740952ml.jpg
No I enjoy it...

Is orville kinky?

A. Kinky or perverse depends on if you use a feather or the whole duck!

Q. Is a feather duster kinky, or is it just the way the maid uses it?

Oh I think the maid plays a major part.

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

A In case the plane hits the water upside down

Q Why does a woman need a 50" £2000 tv to watch soap ???

Best regards.

Fubar2Niner