I thought the life of a bilge rat was going to be a good one, instead I'll we've had is bilge stew, bilge brew, threats of mutiny, history lessons and the worst cheese buffet ever. Oh yes, and me being 'hazed' with my own oil can by the Bilges' padre.

When does the party start?

Lay off the Bilge Brew, son. We're deep into the after party at the moment.:woot:
Sober up ya scallywags.
We just got orders to head out on patrol.

Ahhh, deep water.:up: That should curtail any more of Armistead's shenanigans. :hmmm:
Speaking of which... You have something in an earth tone hue on your chin.:timeout:

We only hear newbs screaming, Oh God!, Oh God! when the Padre gets ahold of them. Easily fixed. The transfer paperwork is en route to HQ.
He's going to be the spiritual attache' to the President. I hear he likes his vespers from behind. :D

As for you my dear Armistead,
As you were. Save the rage for the enemas.

Wolferz....I'm sorrr...sorrrrrr....I was wron......, I erred. I never liked Aktungbby...I consider him a humbug, a man of small capacity, very obstinate, not at all chivalrous, exceedingly conceited, and totally selfish.
His plans were not a fair fight, but a mere murder....I cannot kill a fellow rat, not now, I would rather fall on my sword....

To be honest, I'm not sure anymore of myself, my abilities. I can't spell, I confuse words, my prostate is swollen, I even dribble. My wife looks at me out of the corner of her eye with a look of disgust. Was I ever great to start with is the question?

Please, no punishment....maybe I need to be indoctrinated over.

I EXPOSE myself to you and your domination.......{I'm southern baptist}

You disgust me entirely! To think I put myself behind you.....You cant even speak American....You're more of a let down than my ex-wife. The betrayal, the evil of it...if I want that I'll go back to the Christian Forum..

Et tu, Aktung, Et tu?

Do I have one friend left....ONE, that will speak on my behalf?

Probably not....are we all done now?

Heel, Armistead
 

Heel,
It's all good. This isn't the first time you've played Larry the Lobster, threatening with your big claws and ultimately flipping that tail to propel you backwards out of harms way.

Be careful next time and don't bite off more cheese than you can chew. Especially with that working girl you hired.
Our English cousins are our allies so try not to get their knickers in a twist.
Jimbuna gets exceedingly teste if you do that.:/\\!!

C'mere ya crazy galoot. You gets a big ol' sloppy Bugs Bunny smooch.:/\\k:

Now, how about getting back on your oar?:yep:

Thanks Wolferz...and for your hugs of FRIENDSHIP {note Jimbuna}

Just been so much going on down here in the bilge.....I'm gonna go to the head, get some ....clean water and make you a fresh pot of coffee..

Don't worry yourself.
Donna just made me a pot with a happy ending. Woo Hoo!:yeah:

but donna always made coffee for just me...I think youre pushing your leadership a lil far....we hugged and I'm still Chairman with all the power that implies...Let it be a truce.....you can have donna, she's too hairy for me now anyway.....I'll let fireftr take her position under me...

You'll remember the price of attempted greatness for a long time to come.

Please note section 10.2-C, paragraph 12 of the Bilge UCMJ in regard to failed attempts at mutiny. Any scallywag rat convicted of such treason on the high seas or while berthed in port will forfeit all perks associated with his/her position. Yes, that means we're taking the gold plated seat off your I-crapper too. It should build morale after we install it on the enlisted head.



The constant; "Who plants his tush on a gold plated toilet seat?... :yeah:This guy!" was starting to become boring. We all thought it would wear off after awhile, but it didn't.:-? At least you don't need to strain your flabby muscles flushing that top of the line auto flushing I-crapper.
Now that I think about it, that award is what started this whole sordid mess in the first place. Any future award nominations must be submitted to me in triplicate along with $118.14 for processing and handling.

Note to all Bilge crew,
Effective immediately. Do not put snot in your footlocker or foot in your snotlocker. It's a health code thang.

That is all.

I know section 10.2-C, paragraph 12 of the Bilge UCMJ very well....I wrote it and also wrote paragraph 13.

"any member at anytime can bring forth charges of impeachment to members in office without fear under antidiscrimination and whistleblower protection laws; AKA "NO FEAR ACT." If charges of impeachment are found to be false, said filing member is to suffer no more than 30 days punishment as deemed by the B.O.D" Member filing is to be free from intimidation, insult, or ridicule based on race, color, religion, sexual preference - {gay, straight, bi sexual, trans sexual, asexual, multisexual, beastaility, fetish of feet, bodypainting} -, gender, or national origin."

You survived this one, {thanks to Aktungs failures} maybe even more powerful than before...I submit myself to the depths of the bilge for 30 days as a gesture to your power or until the BOD is able to perform it's needed functions.

Tew werds...
StripCheese.:hmmm:

:smug: The very(required) definition of a bilgerat rat initiate, as set forth in the CC&R's of the Bilgerat Code; I'm appalled you left out misanthropic; it has taken me decades to become such; having started out with mere bigotry: against lab rats, tunnel rats, THE rat pack, swamp rats and lesser rodentia...all the way to full-fledged Misanthrope!:rock:
HMMM NOW Where did this fresh idea spring from suddenly?:hmmm: remember: when 'offing' thusly, to consider the gravity of the situation.:O: Don't make a muck of it! The Japs generally have a buddy to keep it tidy!
Honesty is an impermissible virtue in a bilgerat! You may recall at the initiation you are required to show capacity to lie-even unto to yourself-Prevarication and pure hokum are the benchmarks of our fellowship...ie keep telling yourself that sword is a very long one...at our age, any dribble is a good dribble-keep your aim true! :woot:

Aktung, thrown into the pile of forgotten rat skeletons...Maybe Wolferz will show mercy to you. He's like that German officer in that movie that got off saying "I'm merciful." if it makes him feel powerful. Don't forget to kiss the ring when he extends his hand....the ring Aktung...

Anyway, I've got to replace that leaking flange where the sewer keeps leaking out....

You told me you finished that repair a week ago. The sewage leaking into the galley wasn't whetting any appetites for Donna's cooking.
Must be why everything has been served burnt. She's minding the stove from the conning tower couch, like my dear wife does at home.:shifty:
I swear they were both misnamed at birth. Should have been named Peggy instead of Donna.:stare:

Oh well, back to the crap game.

PS: Most of the crew likes to kiss my Precious.

Had to order real caulking, donna's oatmeal didn't last...

Didn't you promise the rats a return to patrol....can't you least get us an old S-boat? Losing my sea legs down here, I need to feel the mist in my face, instead of Captgeo's spit when he talks ..

Got us a nice shiny new Narwhal.:up: Well, new to us anyways.

First run, of all things, is to haul a load of pig manure to Luzon for the Provost Marshall's garden. Just to keep the Muzzies out of his tomatoes. :roll:

I'm just glad it wasn't another pig boat! Though it would probably smell the same. :-?

Prepare to get underway.

Great, it's been a long time....Am I the Captain, Exec....I'll be sure to do a complete report..

No such thing as a new Narwhal in 44....{BTW, can you make it a S class, don't have many Narwhal SS}