Granted but the wish given to you was planted by Satan. The apocalypse arrives and all hell breaks loose. Submarines all over the globe are destroyed as the oceans turn into lava. This also causes no more subsims to be made which is sadder then the end of humanity.

I wish I had some of that deer jerkey I was just reading about in another thread.

Granted, but it tastes like a jerked deer and makes you act like a jerk.

I wish I owned a pub.

Granted, but then the Subsim meeting will be in Australia,
and its free beer for all who come, and ofcourse a huge breaking down the house and leave you with all its costs.

I wish I had a day off

Granted, but then again... you need to pay the mortage on your home and the missus won't be too happy that.

I wish I could wish.

Granted, making your wish was your wish.

I wish women would stop denying they snore in their sleep.

Granted, they stop denying it, so now they snore even louder, to make their point.

I wish I knew what the question of Universe, Life and everything really is!

Granted, but it isn't 42.

I wish pigs could fly.

Granted, but then you would get pig**** on your windscreen instead of bird****.

I wish I had a life

Granted, you start playing an old Mario brothers game and immediately receive 1up. :p


I wish Picard was winning the Star Trek captains poll.

Granted. Picard leads the Captains poll. But the Kirk fans find out that you wished for this and "phaser your house from orbit".

I wish I had more pizza.

Granted, but now you weigh more than your house.

I wish negative people could be more positive.

Granted! Every person in the world who has some negative attitude is now cheerfully positive! This has the effect of creating a planet of sickeningly cheerful idiots who cheerfully run their cheerful little lives into the cheerful ground because there is no longer any negativity to overcome and give meaning to the Human Spirit to achieve and excel.

I wish brussel sprouts weren't on our Thanksgiving Day menu.

Granted.. They have been replaced by boiled Okra!

I wish I could fire a howitzer into a retirement village.

Are we having a bad day bro?

You mock my aspirations!!?? :p

Granted, but because the village occupants were elderly and remembered the last great war, they were well prepared and had built sufficient bunkers/shelters. Therefore there were no casualties.

I wish my neighbour would give me their new car.

Granted! However soon after receiving said automobile, the price of gas skyrockets to over $20.00/gal. The government reacts by declaring all personal transportation to be illegal and imposes heavy fines and imprisonment for those who do not comply. Being the law abiding citizen you are, you dutifully take a reciprocating saw to the vehical, removing it's top and turning it into a decorative planter for the missus...

I wish all the okra in the world would magically disappear...

Granted, but that has allowed the cultivation of massive amounts of Brussel Sprouts which have now replaced boiled okra on your Thanksgiving menu.

I wish airlines offered 5c fares all the time.

Granted, but they either go broke in three weeks, or have very large fees and taxs attached to the purchase price of the ticket.

I wish my dreams would stop being crushed...

Granted, now they just get squashed.

I wish DeepIron had to eat okra all day for the rest of his life.