Granted, but now you can understand what they 're saying and you become despered.

I wish I had a beer right know

Granted, you now own the Beer crater on the moon

I wish I knew who that shady person in the dark alley is

Granted, but because of a tear in the space time continuum, the shadow person is actually you. Unfortunately you only discover this as you plunge a knife into shadow persons chest, thus ending your own life.

I wish I had Raptor1's collection of Jutland prints.

Granted, but you failed to purchase a license to own them, and you're sued for copyright issues (isn't a Capitalist society just grand...?).

I wish I knew where my blasted coin came from.

Granted, it came from a factory in China

I wish Randomizer would get me my Jutland prints back from the impound, it's all his fault!

Granted, but it's really your fault that you wished for them in the first place; also, you failed to buy a license...

I wish that the coin wasn't made in a factory or by the Chinese.

Granted, it's made in a sweatshop in Malaysia.

I wish treacle wasn't sticky.

Granted, now North Korea is the main base for manufacturing.

I wish I knew how to edit videos.:|\\

Granted, but you spend 60 hours figuring it out. hey wait, you can't grant your own wish! or can you?:hmm:

I wish I could hit enter faster than jimbuna.

Granted, your methods of editing are very...innovative

http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-imag...eo-tape460.jpg

I wish I had the patience to get better and do something useful with either 3ds Max or Maya

Granted, it happens due to full scale nuclear war though

I wish I knew what the hell was going on here!

Granted, your first installment of "I want to know what the hell is going on here," is in the post. 100 books 5000 pages long are in the post.

I demand a UK recession.

<Steed beat me to the reply, and then doesn't make a wish!>

The demand for a UK recession is granted but it is short lived as a new British Empire founded on the principals of socialism and political correctness comes to dominate the EU, Africa and little bits of Greenland.

I wish my car had a Smite button to eliminate idiot drivers.

Granted, but you are talking on your cellphone when you hit the button. Your car is vapo(u)rized.

I wish I could get rid of the ants in the house.

Granted, but the driver behind you has a "Nuke" button, and he's rather trigger happy...

EDIT: Damn, beat me to it

Granted, but your cyanide spray killed everyone in the building

I wish I didn't have an exam on Thursday (My last one, but w/e)