Granted, but you can only play it badly.

I wish someone else could experience a bowel movement on my behalf.

O.T.
I always knew you were full of it :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Also O.T.
I cannot believe that Jimbuna has managed to render the dream-crushers crushless. What are you supposed to do with a wish like that?

Well, here goes nothing...

Granted, however due to your insipid multiple-personality disorder, your bowel movement surrogate shares your body but they are not house trained. The real Jimbuna gets to clean up the 'mess'.

After that, I wish I could feel clean again.

Granted, but Jims surrogate is only going to make another mess on your carpet which you now have to clean up without gloves.

I wish my wishes would stop getting granted.

Granted but now sence you asked for all your wishes not to be granted this one is not granted. :rotfl:

I wish that this liquid in my ear would go away.:D

Granted, it is replaced with worms and other creepy-crawlies!

I wish all of the wishes in this thread would come true.

Granted but only your wishes that were crushed come true.

I wish I could be able to controal other peoples mindes.:arrgh!: Could have plenty of fun with that.:rotfl:

Granted, but we can control your mind all we want as well

I wish they would patch reality already, these bugs are getting annoying

Granted, reality is completely revamped and upgraded, but you can no longer run it.

I wish Subman or Steed or Skybird would post something controversial. I'm bored.

Granted, but it's so controversial that the mods decided to close this thread, forever ending the good tradition of crushing others dreams.

I wish UnderseaLcpl had something to do.:up:

Granted, I've given him the job of cleaning my house whilst the wife is away.

I wish I could find the instructions for how to operate the dishwasher.

Granted, but they packaged the instructions on how to operate the guillotine by accident instead...

I wish I had a +10 boost to all my attributes

Granted, you now have a rating of +11, still way below the national average of +42.

I wish ebony was ivory.

Granted, but you are attacked by PETA terrorists.

I wish I wasn't getting laid off:cry: .

Granted, you are getting killed off instead

I wish I could summon artillery barrages wherever I want and whenever I want

Granted, too bad you can't call in co-ordinates correctly.

I wish I could be a field hand at Rancho Subsimo for my new job.

Granted, but the pay sucks....your only reward being that your allowed to eat everyones leftovers.

I wish someone would blow Gabriels horn.

Granted, but that sounds awfully personal!:oops:

I wish I had a blueberry pancake with butter ans syrup!

Granted, you can have it for your last meal

I wish talk wasn't cheap

Granted, that wish will cost you a billion dollars.

I wish nickimcbee would get a better job soon.