granted, he tells them you were involved and now you are getting a "security check." With all the trimmings >_>

I wish my CD's would burn faster.

Granted; since TarJak pointed MI6 in your direction instead, all of your data is indeed burning faster. Sadly, the smoke from the bonfire in your back yard is only helping them pinpoint your location.

I wish diamonds were forever.

Granted, Diamonds were forever. From now on they are not.

I wish somebody would crush Sledgehammer427's dream since I missed it.

Granted, the dream is crushed and all the blood and guts from it are being sent in a package to your place of abode.

I wish the comprimise was consuming.

Granted, but the comprimise was comsumed by a small, annoying dog.

I wish I had a uncrushable, distroyable, completly nomral wish.

Granted, but the problem with nomrel wishes is that they are fully crushable and easily distroyable using a conventional trash compactor and bio-waste incinerator. Too bad you would not let go of your wish before these awful things happened to it.

I wish to see Frunabulax vs. Godzilla.

Granted, but you get so excited at seeing them you get too close and Godzilla steps on you.

I wish for forewarning of impending doom.

Granted, you are hereby served 5 billion years' forewarning of the impending destruction of the Earth. Unfortunately, you recieve no prior notice of your own crippling and near-fatal wounding that leaves you conscious but unable to move or communicate for the rest of human history, thanks to some major advances in life-support technologies and some complicated ethical questions.

I wish the lame children's educational program "Dora the Explorer" would be replaced by a more historically accurate, entertaining, and awesome children's educational program entitled "Dora the Conquistador"

Granted, now she explores the oceans! But in the next episode, she gets sunk... Makeing the little girls, and girl like boys start to cry everywhere.

I wish that you would get pie all over yer face.

Granted, but it's dry pie and wipes up easily with no mess thanks to Pie B Gone pre moistened towlettes.

I wish that I could clear that nest of zombies out of the attic.

Granted, But they just go in through your windows, and eat yer BRAINZ!!!!

I wish for you to know what im wishing for.

Granted, and we promptly crush your wish before you even wish it

I wish the delay was infinite

Granted, but your wish is delayed... for ever...

I wish time flew.

Granted, you're sucked past the event horizon of a black hole and your constituent particles are ripped apart as they approach the speed of light, making all time pass in the blink of an eye (relatively) for you while you suffered tremendous agony over the course of millions of relative years.

I wish I had a nice glass of Riecine Chianti and a Veal Marsala right about now.