Granted, your wish for something intrinsically complex and complicated, it was a woman!


I wish I could afford Call of Duty 4.

Granted, you can afford to buy the disk, however since you don't have a PC that can run it you now have a nice coaster.

I wish dream crushing wasn't soul destroying as well.

Granted, but it still is life-crushing.

I wish that I was invulnerable to bullets.

Granted, you are however you are not invulnerable to RPG's or 16" shells.

I wish fried fish tasted better without salt.

Granted, but you now eat so much fried fish that you suffer from iodine deficiency and mercury poisoning.

I wish my monitor screen was wider.

Granted, but now it weighs to much for you to move on your own.

I wish that the Brain Scorcher from STALKER, would stop sending zombies through my bedroom window while im trying to sleep.

Granted, but your visions ability isn't and you go blind.

I wish nightmares were funny.

Granted, but you die in your sleep from laughing at one particularly horrific dream.

I wish my garden would tidy itself up.

Granted, but it can't stop tidying other things up as well, and now it's coming...for YOU!

I wish 1 would equal to 0

Granted, but this mathematical paradox creates a quantum singularity causing the entire known universe to collapse into a black hole while making my Cat throw up.

I wish the Cat hadn't just been sick on the carpet.

Granted, it's sick on the armchair instead.

I wish I could invent something nobody else has invented.

Granted. You invent Diagra, a new erection prevention drug.

I wish I could get apples to grow on my orange tree.

Granted, but your orange tree has been irradiated by the nearby nuclear plant (Therefore it is orange), and thinking about it, so was you...

I wish I knew how many times the universe was destroyed in this thread

Granted, 16 times... but the answer is a LIE.

I wish that I could force the zombie of Jim Jones to kill the company manager that halls away my trash (when I bought my house in 1996, trash takeout cost $7 bucks; now it costs $65 BUCKS and what's even better is that we pay for the gasoline the trucks use...).

Granted but the Zombie Jim Jones will not leave your house and no company will collect your garbage - ever.

I wish the hedges would trim themselves.