Granted, but the mind is that of your neighbor's 13 year old kid and the purpose is to bounce a softball off the outside wall of your bedroom without interruption until he breaks the world record.

I wish the rain were made of vodka.

Granted, it is Hindustani vodka and absolutely undrinkable.

I wish there was a time for sacred habits.

Granted, you now have time to wear your sacred nun habit down to Tescos to do you shopping.

I hope Jim remembers the milk.

Granted but it is rancid and stinking milk from a three-toed sloth with plague infested rats swimming in it and he just spilt it on your living room rug.

I wish my breadmaker could make gold.

Granted, but it was the only working breadmaker on Earth after the last apocalypse, and making bread by hand had become a lost art when the cyborgs took over. Bread is gone from us forever, and no amount of gold can buy it back. The masses, predictably, blame you.

I wish I had a nickel for every time that happened.

Granted, you are a very wealthy woman, indeed. However, buying anything of significance requires a truck and hours and hours of counting.

I wish politicians didn't lie so darn much.

Granted, you now know they are taking you for all they can get so they are comfortable in their old age.

I wish I knew the pitfalls before taking the next step.

Granted and so you end up passing an African convent and although you now know all the pitfalls you still end up in Abyssinia with an Abbess falling into an abyss.

I wish that Swiss cheese is not where you find it.

Granted, Swiss cheese is now renamed to 'where you find it cheese'

I wish the bottom line was at the top.

I wish it was not so

Granted, but now this wish is upside down

Granted, things are it is not so, they are la.

I wish the story would not get in the way of good facts.

Granted. There are no good facts at all so no problem.

I wish all drinks were free for me tonight.
(I hate when i dont have a hangover from last night and i just dont have enough money to try again the next night... :damn:)

Granted. Welcome to The Blue Oyster Urine Bar, all of your drinks are free.

I wish I could stop procrastinating.

Granted now you have nothing to do, all you did was procrastinate.

I wish the world world was upside down.

Granted, but due to the nature of the laws of gravity, it really changes nothing...

I wish there was no gravity