Granted, but the health effects are just as nasty, and you end up contracting some kind of disease the likes of which baffles doctors and scientists the world over.

I wish that my damned fish would quit acting like such an idiot.:stare:

Granted, but those become evil geniuses and shall take over the world.

I wish someone could save us from Stealth Hunter's megalomaniac fish.:roll:

Granted, Stealth Hunter's idiot fish is devoured by the closet cannibal Raptor1 but before that could happen, it spawned and now the seas and oceans both are filled with offspring of his megalomaniac fish.

I wish a self-cleaning oven would actually clean itself.

Granted but now everything you bake taste like oven cleaner and starts to dissolve your digestive tract.

I wish I could understand why so many people are unkind and prevent them from being that way.

Granted, but you eventually find yourself unable to understand the full concept; thus, it was pointless to even raise such a question and ask for an explanation.

I wish that I had MORE COWBELL!:rock:

Granted, you now have more COWBELL than you know what to do with, and it becomes so scarce a commodity, nobody uses it anymore.

I wish tomorrow could be yesterday.

Granted, tomorrow is the day you get mugged and eventually killed though

I wish the universe was made out of video tapes and coca cola

Granted, but the coca cola has expired and the video tapes are being replaced by Blu ray disks.

I wish i was an astronaut.

Damn, mcf1 beat me to it.

Granted, but the coca-cola corrodes the video tape, once again destroying the universe for the umpteenth time. Great work there Raptor1.:nope:

I do wish Raptor1 hadn't been such a Bernard by causing the universe to be destroyed again.:roll:

Lets have another go.

Granted, but HAL won't open the pod bay doors.

I wish I was an International Man of Mystery.

This means I now have 2 concurrent wishes waiting to be crushed! I wonder which will be first?:hmm:

Granted, you become an International Man of Mystery due to your recent disappearance after proclaiming yourself as Emperor Bernard III and announcing your plans for the destruction of the universe before Raptor1

I wish I knew if Schultz is a relative of Bernard

Granted, but you soon realise that you are also related to him.

I wish tartan paint was obtainable in the shops.

Granted, but all other paints are not obtainable from shops.

I wish that M*A*S*H was still on the air.

granted, but on ragio only.

I wish the global warming was just an illusion.

Wish granted, but then global cooling began freezing us all in seaconds.

I wish Big Macs were the healthiest food in the world.

Granted, but all other forms of food are not at all healthy, meaning your diet is restricted now to nothing BUT Big Macs.

I wish that I had a refill on my SuperCrunch Salt & Vinegar chips.

Granted, too bad they have been soaking in turnip juice.

I wish I was going to the pub for supper tonight.

Granted, but it turns out the pub only serves alcohol, and you're forced to eat peanuts in substitute for a true meal.

I wish that I could have a refill on my tea.

Granted, but the tea, everytime you get a refill becomes heated water, forever, and ever and ever and ever......

I wish all hackers, virus and worm programmers and the like would instantly die!