Granted, you are invited onto I'm a Celebity get me out of here and you die in the steaming jungles of tropical north Queensland from Ross River Fever ending your involvement in reality TV.

I with I knew what the X Factor was.

Granted, it's the one that comes after the W factor and before th Y factor.

I wish you auditioned for a singing role in it.

Granted, he got the singing role but after you heard the song it stuck in your head day and night for months on end until finally, driven totally insane, you beat yourself to death with a ping pong paddle.

I wish I was coordinated enough to play ping pong well.

Granted, your coordination has improved but your timing needs work. Ping pong is now shunned by all nations except Tarjakistan where it is only played in on place. The interrogation cells of the Tarjakistan secret police.

I wish Randomizer luck with his interrogation.

Granted, but all the luck is of the 'bad' variety and he is castrated.

I wish empathy was enlightening.

Granted, but it still doesn't pay.

I wish that the Incas ruled Mexico.

Granted, but only till I press the Submit Post button.

I wish 1 was 2 and 2 was 3...

Granted , but 7 8 9 .

Granted, but you are struck down with divine wrath for not making a wish

I wish this thread won't get killed off...again...

Granted, it gets lock suddenly and without warning instead.

I wish the world was not enough.

Granted, you get a free set of steak knives as well.

I wish Jim a Happy New Year.

Granted, I hope your right.

I wish you a happier one.

Granted, but it turns out that the new year is actualy the new old one. wait... did I just confuse myself...:o

I wish that subs could fly, and planes dived...

Granted, planes can already dive, and your brand new experimental rocket-powered submarine is about to take off with yourself as the test pilot

I wish TF's submarine won't kill him too quickly

Granted, he suffers a long sloooow painful end to his life.

I wish all the front row seats hadn't already been purchased.