Granted, but all they sell is that typical warm, headless London crap.

I wish I knew where rocking horse droppings came from.

Granted, but the process of the explanation is so long and so complicated that you eventually forget where they come from all over again.

I wish that people would stop giving out BS 9/11 conspiracies.

Granted, but instead they give out your phone number and call you non stop to ask you about 9-11.

I wish I had a platefull of blueberry luftwaffles in butter and maplesyrup:hmm: .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Nle3GjrE0s

Granted, however, Kaiser Wilhelm shoots you down.

I wish that I had a free gun.

Granted, but the bullets cost an absolute fortune.

I wish there was a cure for every disease known to mankind.

Granted; but since this will put so many in the health care industry out of work, all of the unemployed Ugly Nurses will now live with you.


I wish I could see at night, like a coyote or deer can.

Granted, but that means you will now be able to see just how ugly that nurse is wholying in bed with you on an evening.

I wish elephants could travel as fast as cheetahs.

Granted, but rocket-powered elephants are so rare that a preservation order is placed upon them.

I wish Jimbuna was served a pint of that typical London warm headless crap the next time he is in a pub. (OT thank god for on-the-fly spell check, as I have just got back from the pub.)

Granted, but he Likes it, buys the brewery and moves it to his home town where he makes a gazillion dollars.

I wish I could watch them build the Great Pyramid.

Granted, but the catch is you have to join with the Pharoah's workers!

I wish everyday is a perfect day!

Granted, every day is now perfect for someone other than you.

I wish I owned a brewery that made that warm headless crap that Londoners drink and made a gazillion pounds.

Granted, but the brewery is then bought out by Greene King (aka green slime) and the beer is destroyed further.

I wish I owned a submarine.

Granted, you own the one in your avatar.

I wish I used the money from my brewery to buy a brewery that brewed proper old English ale with great flavour, good head and not too much gas.

Granted, but your mate Jimbuns pays you a lengthy convivial visit and your profitd and resultant share prices plumet, and Jimbuna buys the controlling share for a pittance.

http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/d...e/drunkcob.gif

I wish my wish was reality.

Arrgghh, Jimbuna beat me to it... Oh well.

Granted, you are now legally real.

I wish that I knew then what I know now.