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Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast as I could!
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Sometimes you succeed.... and other times you learn.
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I didn't find out what happiness means until I got married... and then it was too late.
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An expert is a person who has made every possible mistake in a small field of study.
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You can teach a cat to do anything that it wants to do.
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Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job.
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I look at the moon and it looks really beautiful!.. Then I look at you... and.. I think I'll look at the moon again?!
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Cleaning the house while your kids are still home is like shoveling while it's still snowing.
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It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt.
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Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite.
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Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote!
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When you're thinking that I'm thinking of you, I'm thinking you're thinking of me.
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You already know something you don't even know that you know.
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