Granted, but the police find the body and trace the murder to you. Enjoy prison life. I'm only in jail to sober up... HAHA!

I wish that I could make new planets by just imagining them.

Granted, but the planets spawn 10 meters above your head, killing you and everyone else

I wish I was good at money laundering, extortion, murder and police evasion

Granted, but you're not good at business affairs in general.

I wish that I had a refill on my shotglass.

Granted, but it's refilled wither water.

I wish Robert Mugabe was brought to justice.

Granted, but Justice has no power in the world anymore, and therefore cannot stop him

I wish I knew who this Robert Mugabe person is (Yes, I know nothing about world events, not unless they happened 30+ years ago)

Granted, to get to know Bob the B@r$tard better, you have been made the leader of the Zimbabwean opposition party and now have to stand against Mr. Mugabe in the upcoming elections... If you live that long...:hmm:

I wish Zimbabwe could have free, fair and democratic elections without violence or threatening behaviour against anyone in opposition to the current ruling party.

Granted, Mugabe and his elk move to South Africa and cause the same mayhem there.

I wish the UN would send in peacekeepers and overthrow Mugabe.

Granted, but Europe becomes one great totalitarian state being run by ex-PM Tony Blair and declares war on the USA. The world is obliterated in a nuclear war that lasts all of 5 minutes.

I wish I had somewhere to hide from the nuclear weapons.

Also, Jimbuna beat me to it.

Granted, Welcome to Mars

I wish I could witness the Anglo-Zanzibar War (And come back to our time, and not die, or anything like that)

Granted, but something you did there drastically changes the future, making Al Gore the president, Chevy Chase in charge of Late Night TV, and Michael Moore a famous politician and presidential nominee. Perhaps it was when you squashed that butterfly, maybe it was when you killed that bee... who knows... you never will...

I wish that I didn't have a hangover.

Granted, Because I screwed up the future so horribly, Alcohol is universally banned and it's knowledge forgotted, so you can't have a hangover

I wish I didn't screw up the universe for the who-knows-what time...

Granted, but you instead screw up your life in the process.

I wish that alcohol was still legal.

Granted, but only in every country but your own.

I wish I had more pictures of Hunter ICX getting sunburnt.

Granted, but they turn out to be photoshopped (the 6-pack abs and huge arm muscles, anyway).

I wish that I could become a moderator... and a respected one (meaning I'd have to change personally in RL).

Granted, Your job is to moderate global warming

I wish this made sense...