I look at the moon and it looks really beautiful!.. Then I look at you... and.. I think I'll look at the moon again?!

Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job.

You can teach a cat to do anything that it wants to do.

Thank God that dreams are taxfree

Markus

/\ Not if you're HAL! https://static01.nyt.com/images/2018...superJumbo.jpg "Will I dream?":haha:

Cleaning the house while your kids are still home is like shoveling while it's still snowing.

When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.

It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt.

Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote!

Public notice: Onion rings deserve parmesan cheese all over them /public notice

Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.

In America, it is not important how much an item costs, it's more important how much you can save when you buy it.

When a man gets close to a woman wearing a leather mini-skirt, his heart starts beating faster, his throat gets dry, his knees get weak and he becomes irrational.. Why? Because the leather smells like a new car.

Everyone wants your best! Don't let them take it away from you.

Some days, you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue, just live with it.