As a reward for the winners and runners up of this year's FA cup, Arsenal and Aston Villa have been allowed to start the next premiership season in 1st and 2nd place.

McClaren is looking like the favourite for the TOON job :doh:

Congratulations to Steve McClaren on becoming Newcastle manager. Apparently he on a zero hours contract but can have all the Sports Direct mugs he wants.

Supposedly been given a £50 million war chest.

Raheem Stirling playing for England is about as much use as a zebra crossing in grand theft auto.

QPR are wanting £15 million for Charlie Austin :nope:

Bobby Charlton is England's leading goalscorer with 49 goals.

Famed for playing in the red of Manchester United, his embarrassing attempts at hiding his baldness, and his relationship with his 75 year old lover, Wayne Rooney is now only one goal behind.

If Newcastle can get two good strikers in this summer, it seems very likely that they would sell Papiss Cisse, and there’s news today in the Mail today that Newcastle may do just that.

In the Mail :hmm2:

Jack Wilshere has been fined £40,000 by the FA for calling Tottenham Hotspur crap.

He was then fined another £40,000 for saying water is wet.

Newcastle are in advanced talks with Wolfsburg for 6'5" striker Bas Dost.

The Chinese chef at Anfield has been told that he must have someone with him in the kitchen at all times.

The memo was headed "You'll never wok alone".

The Sun claims that Palace are ready to make a move for goalkeeper Tim Krul. Early reports said the Dutch stopper was wanting his wages to rise to £50,000-a-week if he moved to Selhurst Park - which was a potential stumbling block - but the Sun claim that they would be willing to offer the Magpies’ number one that.

England have scored an own goal against Norway in the Women's World Cup.

Resulting in huge celebrations from the England bench, until it was explained to them.

Wolfsburg coach Dieter Hecking has advised Bas Dost to stay at the club despite reported interest from Newcastle United.