Granted:
I wish we didn't just sink because of Stealth Hunter (even if he did get what he deserves for it)

Granted, it goes something like this:

Stealth Hunter dressed himself up as a woman and cowardly allowed himself to be ushered towards the front of the queue with the women and children.

There were only two lifeboats remaining and as soon as Stealth Hunter got first seat on the first lifeboat he suddenly cast off denying anyone else a place.

As it happened, one of the two lifeboats had a cracked hull and unfortunately ot was the one Stealth Hunter was in. It sank in a few minutes taking the cowardly Stealth Hunter, screaming and thrashing in the water to the bottom with it.

As the remaining survivors looked on with smiles on their faces, the children clapped and the women cheered, the stark reality of the predicament they were in was forgotten for a moment.

After a few minutes, reality returned and once more they started to face up to the reality that the one remaining lifeboat would never be able to hold them all.

Suddenly a loud cheer was heard and out of the darkness Neal was seen speeding to the rescue in hospital ship......and they all lived happily ever after.

I wish this was a best seller.

Granted, but I sue you for stealing some of my copyrighted material.

I wish that I had an airplane.

Granted. Your airplane is three-inches long, made of balsa wood and one wing is broken off.

I wish I didn't have to cut the lawn.

Granted, Instead you have to cut the throats of your fellow political dissidents under threat of execution

I wish I could summon full bottles of Coke (with Coke, REAL Coke, and not cocaine or that coal stuff either) at will

Granted, but you still get billed off the company for what you consume.

I wish there was no such thing as VAT in the UK.

Granted, but as a consequence, the UK ceases to exist.

I wish that the Titanic DIDN'T sink.

Granted, instead she burns to the waterline and is scrapped to make urinals for ballparks.

I wish that I could get a five-year, $27 million contract to play computer games full time.

Granted, but you bankrupt the company after a week, so it's back to tacobell for you.


I wish we had tank (military, not storage!) rides at the subsim meetin'.:hmm:

Granted, but the controls malfuntion and 5 members are killed, including Neal!!:stare:

I wish that George Carlin was still alive.

Granted, he must be....they reckon he was driving the tank. Incidentally he was also killed during the accident.

I wish I knew who George Carlin is/was.

Granted. George Carlin is (rather WAS) a comedian most famous for his "Seven Dirty Words" skit. The downside to all this is that he died yesterday from heart failure...

I wish that I could become a flying ace of World War I.

Granted, but you get shot down and killed after your 5th victory

I wish I had my very own organized crime...organization...

Granted, but you're epic failures who have absolutely no qualifications or experience in money laundering, extortion, fighting, and you henceforth are swindled by opposing organized crime syndicates and left with nothing in the end but your clothes... and even then, those gun-totting Wops broke both your legs AND put a bullet in your left hand!

I wish that I could sober up again after drinking a bit of Jack Daniels.

Granted, but you instead wake up inside a jail cell with a transvestite beside you!

I wish someone could take out Mugabe and no one would notice it!