Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.

If you see me talking to myself, just move on...
I am self-employed...
We have a board meeting

Markus

When you put a bed in your bedroom – you have less bedroom.

In spring birds return from their tropical vacation. Six months later they regret their decision and go back.

Taking a shower is awesome, it makes you feel nice and clean, makes you sound like a great singer, and helps you make all of life's decisions.

The left wing is a bunch of hypocrites

Markus

Humans are a bunch of hypocrites

Very true

Markus

Pepsi.......for when there's no Coke.

I've never tried snorting Pepsi. :hmmm:

Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.

Minimum wage is like work enthusiasm, it disappears quickly.

Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels.

If I should get a job at some automatic door company

I would insert a voice in these doors.

A man's voice with a very depressed attitude.

"-So you want me to open the door for you ? You think life is great don't you. No one is thinking about my problems...."

Markus

"Bill Posters will be prosecuted".......poor Bill, they've been after him for years.