Granted, But instead it has a room-spinning-I'm-going-to-barf-today-hang-over feeling

I wish for a better yesterday

Granted, yesterday was so much better I can't even tell you about it today. On the other hand, tomorrow will be terrible.

I wish my internet connection didn't lag.

Granted, it stops lagging, but now it's hitty missy.

I wish I could get this Q Ship mod sorted.

Granted, but your computer crashes and every last bit of data on it is lost. Plus, the hard drive is fried...

I wish I could have a dime.

Granted, It's Canadian though

I wish I had the power to summon full Zippo Lighters

Granted, too bad they're all full of water.

I wish I knew Saturday's Winning Numbers.

Granted, but everyone also knew the winning numbers and everyone got only $1 from the jackpot!

I wish there was something more to life...

Granted, but then life becomes meaningless to you.

I wish I had a cupcake.

Granted, but it's a cake made out of paper cups...

I wish I had some Pykrete for entirely non-sadistic purposes...ehhh...yeah...I'm not gonne torture people....

Granted, but somebody tortures YOU with it.

I wish that the advertisements would GO AWAY!!

Granted, But then you miss hearing about the $1 flights being advertised that would take you to your dream holiday.

I wish you could taste colours.

Granted, but I gradually stop being able to taste them.

I wish you could swim at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean.

Granted, but he's also immune to the immense pressure and lack of oxygen, thus foiling your attempts to murder him

I wish the history they teach at my school wasn't the boring part of history

Granted, now they only teach the dull parts.

I wish Kratos would stay sober tonight.

Granted: Kratos will stay home tonight (then he'll be sober) and you can drink his quota then you'll be twice as drunk ;)

I wish people were nice?