Granted, because all felons have now been transported to Australia.

I wish the magnitude was increased proportionally.

Granted, the magnitude of the disaster you have wrought now increases proportionally

I wish that you...no, not you, the other one...would crush this wish

Granted, buy since no one feels addressed, no one will crush your wish.

I wish somebody could sum up this whole thread in a single sentence.

granted... your dream here in past tense, your dream here crushed in present tence...

Please insert a 1 dollar for a wish, insert 2 for a good one...

granted, but since you already spent your money on snacks at the vending machine....you have no more dollars and are left with a crushing 15 cents.

I wish puzzles weren't so puzzling

granted there so easy they are no longer puzzling... so there nolonger called puzzles....

I wish that puzzles putting the center of the puzzle together first was easyest.

Granted, you now solve all the puzzles this way and get bored because you don't have to think too hard any more.

I wish cream came in litres

granted, but since everyone else wanted cream in litres, it has become a global phenomenon...causing everyone to get extremely high doses of Calcium and die. hence they reduced the bottles back to standard size.

I wish my comics were funny to a more global audience

Granted, but only to those on the dark side of the moon.

I wish my thesarus was less prehistoric.

Your thesaurus is modern, its you who's the dinosaur.

I wish I could share a pint with the Grey Wolves in November.

Granted, but it's a single pint for the whole crowd of you.

I wish that beer had gone flat.

Granted, but because it is English beer it was made that way in the first place and is served warm

I hope Shearwater enjoys his warm flat pommy beer.

Granted, he enjoys it so much he gets absolutely plastered, jumps in his car and is convicted of drink driving.

I wish the obvious was more apparent.

Granted, but people still don't see it

I wish the situation was hopeless

Granted, it is now useless....but there is a 'use' in the word.

I wish meloncholy was more interesting.