Granted this should not be granted but if was granted you would come down with the inccurable clap. Your new name would be Mr Leaky.


I wish I had a Lear jet.

Granted:
http://images.hobbytron.com/DM-REV04213-lg.jpg

I wish I didn't have to move this weekend.

Granted, but since you obviously can't hold your pee for two days and you can't get to the bathroom you have to pee all over yourself, after which you get thrombosis for laying still for so long and in severe pain forget about this stupid wish and move most agitatedly to the nearest hospital, where a sadist nurse stuffs gauze in your mouth and then proceeds to give you an irreparable amateur sex change surgery, without anesthesia. Wait a minute, nevermind the last part, this is supposed to be a crushed dream! Alright then, the sex change surgery fails and you're still the same sex.

I wish I were Chuck Norris.

Granted, but you also have to wear chuck's beard and his mullet. In public. Holding a sign saying 'I like the '80s'.

I wish I had a job.:hmm:

Granted, but it will be shift work in a factory for minimum wage in China painting small dangerously sharp metal pieces of childrens toys with lead paint.

I wish I could play SH3 and SH4 at the same time.

Granted. You can play SH3 an SH4 at the same time.

However you will become very confused and end up sinking the wrong ships in both games. Both your careers end. Badly.

I wish I was flying home this weekend.

Granted, but the love of your life isn't expecting you and you wished you'd missed the plane.

I wish my dog could talk.

I apologize. :)

Eh?
really, do you think thats funny?
:nope::down:

I'll think I'll reanswer that one.

Granted, but then it would tell your other half who ate the last of the chocolate cake, and when you try and kick the dog, it reports you to the RSPCA. The dog becomes famous, appears in many movies, make a fortune and lives a life of luxury.

You end up in the dog house, being publicly outed as a bad pet owner...

I wish I could get rid of this cold I have, as well as my wife's...

Granted you are instantly cured but because of this wish being granted you did not use you immune system to defeat the strain. A new strain is formed and it brings on a world-wide plague and it's all your fault. Thanks moron. :p


I wish the idea I had for a space propulsion system I thought up years ago came together and worked.

:roll: .........tut tut :nope:

You forgot your wish.....Allow me on your behalf :arrgh!:

"I wish I was keelhauled"

I wish the response from Neal was "Granted" :rotfl:

Granted, but then the Vulcans would steal it from you. Believe me, they stole my transporter unit.

I wish the stupid video card's cooler wasn't so difficult to clean.

Granted ;)

anted, but then you'd just become bored and look for something else to clean. How about starting with the dishes, then the washing, then some hoovering, then dusting, then.... :lol:

I wish I could speak gibberish.

Granted. No...wait.... whaddayamean "wish"... :)

I wish I could retire and enjoy my hobbies...

What?!?! Granted, but your hobbies seem pointless to you after your life flashes before your eyes.

Wish I was featured on The Actor's Studio. :hmm:

Granted, but then you'd be the art.......nailed to the wall......

I wish I could play the guitar.

Granted, you become a guitar god! But just as you gain the reputation, you suffer massive injury to your hands, making you unable to reap any reward from your gift. Despite an attempted come back by playing with your feet, you fall into a downward spiral.

I wish I could sing....

Granted Bookworm but you will break every glass in sight.
I wish I would meet God.