Granted, you had to go to GT page 57 to crush it

I wish I had a better way to deal with enemy artillery...

Granted, you now befriend them and nullify their intent.

I wish that last Chinese meal was real chicken.

granted, it was real spoiled chicken infected with a new type of chicken flu

For your sake I wish someone invented a medicine for this new flu

Granted, the cure is to eat 3 month old buried rotten shark from Iceland.

I wish curry came in handy six packs.

Granted, curry now comes in six packs, the bottles being 1/6th the original size

I wish I knew if Icelandic shark tastes better with or without curry

Granted, with curry it tastes like elephant and without curry it tastes like cat. Your choice.

I wish for a tempest in a teacup.

Granted, however the structural integrity of the teacup fails suddenly and explosively - releasing the tempest and destroying several city blocks in the process.


I wish "acid" rain meant the psychedelic variety.

Granted, you and all your trippy gang are now freaking out from the hallucinations of spiders with their head ripping jaws.

I wish the rain would stop and the freaking can end.

Granted, all rain has ceased world-wide forever. Meanwhile the freaking does end with the appearance at your door of a 700 pound gorilla with the hots for you.

I wish I had a job in the Ministry of Heavy Drinking.

Granted, but you become an alcoholic and kill yourself in a fit of inebriated depression.

I wish that I had a huge fishtank and it was full of water.

Granted, however without fish in it you become bored, go for a swim and realise too late that you no longer know how.

I wish caravanning was banned.

Granted, caravanning is now banned and all of the now unwanted camels, stinking, mangy, vermin infested camels end up stored in your yard.

I wish to see the story of cowardly King Art and his Knights of the Pool Table.

Granted, but it's a low-budget production for BET.

I wish that I had seen the rain.

Granted. Without dashing tales of derring-do and chivalry, generations of Britons have aspired to be nothing more than cowardly drunks. (good pool players, though). Unfortunately, this creates a power imbalance which leaves France unchecked and unchallenged throughout all of history. France is now the sole superpower on the planet, crushing all of mankind under her stiletto heel. Damn, and it's raining...

I wish I could keep up.

Granted, but 'up' soon gets tired of living with yiu and leves your kennel never to return.

I wish winning wasn't everything.