I'm having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by...

Now if you'll excuse me... today's bad decisions aren't going to make themselves.

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Instead of LOL why don't you try LOLWKASF: Laughing Out Loud While Keeping A Straight Face.

If you think nobody cares that you're alive try missing a couple of payments.

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

In that context I seriously consider "common sense" today to be a third world country, or at least a completely insignificant nation :yep:

Superpower. English. Got to love it.
:O:

FUNNY HOW THE EXPRESSION: ''THE NEW NORMAL'' REALLY ONLY MEANS ONE THING: "IT AIN'T AS AS GOOD AS IT USED TO BE!"DAMN! My case in point in today's W.S.J. Scott Gottlieb editorial: "The Cruel Covid 'New Normal'":k_confused:

Whenever I have a headache I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?

Just once I'd like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear "Monday has been cancelled," and then go back to sleep.

Well, I nearly dated a girl a while back, she was a tad bit older than me, she's a Freshmen High School, but I'm in my last year of Middle School.
I *nearly* dated her because my parents made me stop talking to her because of the way we talked.
I'm dirty-minded and so is she, so there would be several innuendos in one day from both of us to each other. Some were small but there were some big ones as well.

She was real pretty too. But with me in the Naval Sea Cadet Corps, one violation in the rules can get you kicked off of the team. There were multiple rules involving our last relationship so I think I won't be able to talk to her again.

I'm kinda contemplating not dating anyone until I'm done with the Sea Cadet Corps though because I do not want to risk my possible career in the Navy being thrown out the window because I did some bad stuff.

You guys may think that this is wrong, but I don't really care.

Also, you guys may think that with me being off of school for the rest of the school year that I am happy, but I'm not. I really hate E-learning because one of our teachers is a sadist and she derives pleasure from watching people fail on her assignments. So she has like one big assignment and then 4-6 mini assignments in it that take me like 3 hours to do!
I just wanna go back to school and see my friends again. I've been talking to them via texting, and I cannot see them because either they are busy or their moms do want me to come over to their house.

When this pandemic is all over, I'm going to have a sit down dinner with my family at my favorite restaurant and eat their famous burgers and drink their milkshakes.

Common sense seems to be rare in some of my class-mates.

We had a kid last year who was as dumb as rocks. He thought we would go outside for Gym when we were in the middle of a severe thunderstorm.

Just makes no sense. He moved to a different school in December of this year.