Granted, but you no longer have a computer to put it in.

I wish my favorite pro-sports team weren't such underachieving bums.

Granted, but their Pro-Sportist coup d'tat is crushed as the Loyalist troops destroy the now active rebellion

I wish this made sense

Granted, but only you can decipher it.

I wish I hadn't opened up another can of worms.

Granted, but subman1 might disappear into thin air.

I wish I could ditch weights and inflate my BC from 80ft underwater, without getting bent or an embolism, Remembers "Aust Blaschten!"

Granted, no bends or embolism ok, but a Great White Shark decides that you will be the meal of the moment; burp...

I wish the municipality would stop tearing up my street.

Granted, they start tearing your house instead

I wish I had a Faqwfeuoadvneaefovuea'vaevesr

Granted, and you just become another victim of dyslexia!

I wish I had a lifetime supply of diesel fuel.

Granted, but you become extremely alarmed when you realise the quantity in your possession is only one pint.

I wish I had nerves of steel.

Granted, but disregarding the various physiological problems, the sheer weight of your nerves makes your body rather useless

I wish I knew what I was talking about

Granted, but now that you make sense your loved ones no longer recognize you and you are cast out. You are forced to live out a short miserable existance living in a dumpster and eating discarded Big Macs.

I wish the voices in my head would learn English.

Granted, but now you can understand what they 're saying and you become despered.

I wish I had a beer right know

Granted, you now own the Beer crater on the moon

I wish I knew who that shady person in the dark alley is

Granted, but because of a tear in the space time continuum, the shadow person is actually you. Unfortunately you only discover this as you plunge a knife into shadow persons chest, thus ending your own life.

I wish I had Raptor1's collection of Jutland prints.

Granted, but you failed to purchase a license to own them, and you're sued for copyright issues (isn't a Capitalist society just grand...?).

I wish I knew where my blasted coin came from.

Granted, it came from a factory in China

I wish Randomizer would get me my Jutland prints back from the impound, it's all his fault!

Granted, but it's really your fault that you wished for them in the first place; also, you failed to buy a license...

I wish that the coin wasn't made in a factory or by the Chinese.

Granted, it's made in a sweatshop in Malaysia.

I wish treacle wasn't sticky.

Granted, now North Korea is the main base for manufacturing.

I wish I knew how to edit videos.:|\\

Granted, but you spend 60 hours figuring it out. hey wait, you can't grant your own wish! or can you?:hmm:

I wish I could hit enter faster than jimbuna.

Granted, your methods of editing are very...innovative

http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-imag...eo-tape460.jpg

I wish I had the patience to get better and do something useful with either 3ds Max or Maya