Granted, but this causes massive global climate change which extinguishes all life on the planet as we know it, except for some species of whale and angler fish.

I wish for my very own Herman Goering.

Granted, you now have your very own Herman Goering, the name of the latest strain of STI.

I wish the cure was edible.

Granted, you now get to enjoy eating Stealth Hunters Hermann Goering STI.

I wish I knew whether it was flesh or fowl.

Granted, but once you've found out you think you were better off not knowing it.

I wish someone could tell me how that STI tastes like.

Granted, you tell yourself after your curiosity gets the better of you.

I wish Shearwater would learn not to taste STI's.

Granted, he contracts them instead.

I wish I had exclusive rights to the film.

Granted. You have the exclusive right to view the film, but you cannot share it with anyone and after you view it, you are executed.

I wish it were not quite as chilly today as it is.

Granted, its now so hot that the skin is boiled off yer bones. :arrgh!:

I wish medieval warfare wasn't so messy.

Granted, you get late-classical Adrianople-style bloodfests instead

I wish the Western Roman Empire never fell

Granted, it flew instead.

I wish the past was blessed with the future.

Granted, your wife of 25 years now knows what you've been doing for most of them.

I wish for guidance

Granted, you have been guided to restore this thread and now you have fulfilled your purpose

I wish it would never fall so low again

Granted, you will be doomed to resurrect this thread every time it drops below 5th place on the GT forum.

I wish the guidance I'd gotten was a little more substantial

Granted, it is substantially more expensive.

I wish the honorarium was more honourable.

Granted, it is; but you are less honourable

I wish formaldehyde came in family sized economy packs