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That moment when you notice that one fork isn’t really very clean when you’re laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.
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If you see me smiling, I'm probably thinking of doing something evil.
If I’m laughing, I've already done it. |
Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
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If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot.
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If everyone knew what I was thinking, I'd be constantly asking them "Please, tell me what it all means, and should I be worried?... or maybe you should be worried?..."...
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Life is not about how you survive the storm, it's about how you dance in the rain.
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"and BBY the rain must fall"
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The surest sign that there's intelligent life elsewhere in the universe, is that it has never contacted us.
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I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom.
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There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link.
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Quote:
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Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can't live without each other.
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Do you think there’s no good news about having Alzheimer's?
You can buy and wrap your own surprise presents. Plus you are constantly making new friends. |
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning.
Being a sniper is awesome. |
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