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Tried going out with my girlfriend but by the time she finished putting on her makeup the weekend was over.
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I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you're wrong.
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Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.
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Age only matters if you are a cheese.
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Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap.
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“Siri, why am I still single?!”
Siri activates front camera. |
Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along.
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Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap.
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I don't have a drinking problem, I have a thirst problem.
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Do you think maybe Chief Crazy Horse had a brother named Well-balanced Horse?
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Quote:
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Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow.
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With great power comes an even greater electricity bill.
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Congratulations on your 60th birthday! At last you can live undisturbed by life insurance agents!
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My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them.
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