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Jimbuna 11-19-19 01:51 PM

Tried going out with my girlfriend but by the time she finished putting on her makeup the weekend was over.

Jimbuna 11-20-19 10:53 AM

I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you're wrong.

Jimbuna 11-21-19 10:56 AM

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.

Jimbuna 11-22-19 09:28 AM

Age only matters if you are a cheese.

Jimbuna 11-23-19 08:57 AM

Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap.

Jimbuna 11-24-19 08:08 AM

“Siri, why am I still single?!”

Siri activates front camera.

Jimbuna 11-24-19 08:12 AM

Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along.

Jimbuna 11-25-19 02:24 PM

Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap.

Jimbuna 11-26-19 11:53 AM

I don't have a drinking problem, I have a thirst problem.

Eichhörnchen 11-26-19 03:46 PM

Do you think maybe Chief Crazy Horse had a brother named Well-balanced Horse?

Von Due 11-26-19 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eichhörnchen (Post 2638158)
Do you think maybe Chief Crazy Horse had a brother named Well-balanced Horse?

Didn't he have a sister named My Borther Is A Liar And A Donkey?

Jimbuna 11-27-19 06:40 AM

Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow.

Jimbuna 11-28-19 07:41 AM

With great power comes an even greater electricity bill.

Jimbuna 11-29-19 07:20 AM

Congratulations on your 60th birthday! At last you can live undisturbed by life insurance agents!

Jimbuna 11-30-19 10:39 AM

My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them.


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