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I don't have the time or crayons to explain myself to you.
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If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you.
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I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
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I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before.
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I found the hotel with the most stars in the world. It has an open roof so you can see them all.
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Yes, money cannot buy you happiness, but I’d still feel a lot more comfortable crying in a new BMW than on a bike.
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Don’t be sad when a bird craps on your head. Be happy that dogs can’t fly.
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Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
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I proposed to my ex-wife. But she said no. She believes I’m just after my money.
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I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
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I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.
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I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge.
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Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it?
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Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones.
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True love is truly amazing only when it's truly true.
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