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A good friend is like a bra: hard to find one you're comfortable with, always provides support, holds you tight and is always close to your heart.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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A Javilion in the brush is payment for a Tank on the road.
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I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck!
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You can't have everything... where would you put it?
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I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down.
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Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
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It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
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I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
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If life is not smiling at you, give it a good tickling.
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A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.
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Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?
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I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
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If there's no love in the world,... let's make some.
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I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
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He who wakes up early, yawns all day long.
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Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
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Hate your job? Join our support group! It’s called EVERYBODY. We meet at the bar.
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Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.
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My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one.
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