Granted, too bad they're all full of water.

I wish I knew Saturday's Winning Numbers.

Granted, but everyone also knew the winning numbers and everyone got only $1 from the jackpot!

I wish there was something more to life...

Granted, but then life becomes meaningless to you.

I wish I had a cupcake.

Granted, but it's a cake made out of paper cups...

I wish I had some Pykrete for entirely non-sadistic purposes...ehhh...yeah...I'm not gonne torture people....

Granted, but somebody tortures YOU with it.

I wish that the advertisements would GO AWAY!!

Granted, But then you miss hearing about the $1 flights being advertised that would take you to your dream holiday.

I wish you could taste colours.

Granted, but I gradually stop being able to taste them.

I wish you could swim at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean.

Granted, but he's also immune to the immense pressure and lack of oxygen, thus foiling your attempts to murder him

I wish the history they teach at my school wasn't the boring part of history

Granted, now they only teach the dull parts.

I wish Kratos would stay sober tonight.

Granted: Kratos will stay home tonight (then he'll be sober) and you can drink his quota then you'll be twice as drunk ;)

I wish people were nice?

Granted, people are so nice the whole world falls into disorder (see what you have wrought?)

I wish I had a joystick so I could play Il-2 without using this damned keyboard

Granted, people are so nice they become very irritating!

I wish there were more active users logged on to SUBSIM Radioroom!:rock:

Granted, T-H-E-M log on to find and "dispose" of more members

I wish rifleman didn't steal my turn

Granted, but I steal it instead.

I wish te trees in my garden were not so big.

Granted, they are now the size of shrubs and you have nothing to swing from.

I wish I could walk on water.

Granted, But Mr. Jesus sues you for copyright infringement

I wish for something un-boring and un-killing-me-or-anybody-in-proximity to happen

Granted. You get a pony that unfortunately destroys the interior of your home.

I wish that I could have a refill on my milkshake.

Granted, but it slips out of your hand and falls on your keyboard, shorting out the computer power supply and destroying the hard drive.

I wish my house had a workshop.

Granted, but it transforms into this wooden, power tool-equipped robot and it tries to kill you!

I wish this thread would not end!

Granted, Your wishes would be crushed for all eternity (Or, All your wishes are belong to us)

I wish wishing was not so wishful