Granted, you actually found it last year but forgot all about it until you found it again today.

I wish Niki could remember where he put things.

Granted, but on this occasion it's his foot and like everything else, he puts it in his mouth.

I wish Niki were as intelligent and as handsome as me.

granted... but now you are less intelligent... and stuff...

I wish nikimcbee would find steed once and forall.

Granted, but since STEED is dead, nikimcbee is forever scarred, changes his name to nikitamcbee and becomes a communist revolutionary

I wish people in large unmarked vans would stop watching my house :stare:

granted, now there in large unmarked choppers... with missiles...

I wish theyd fire and get it over with...

Granted, but they miss and hit your house instead.

I wish all communist revolutionaries suffer a horrific and painful death at the hands of that FB that sits across from jimbuna.

Granted, as they lay dying they curse you with marriage to Jim's FB colleague and you are forced by intercontinental law to carry out the conditions of the curse.

I wish I knew what that meant.

Granted, it means nothing, so you are none the wiser

I wish we weren't dead...again...

Granted, your only paralysed from the neck down.

I wish a conditional discharge was unconditional.

Granted, once discharged, the results are unconditional - the torpedo either runs straight, hut, and true or not and either explodes or not. Either way you are detected and hammered by the Hedgehogs they drop on top of you causing the hull of your vessel to implode.

I wish I was in better form.

Granted, you are now in the form of a rotting corpse which is way better.

I wish vindictivness was less satisfying.

Granted, but that doesn't stop your enemies and/or friends from being vindicative

I wish the BC's tank wasn't so impenetrable to kinetic and thermal weaponry

Granted, but as you are now sitting in one under attack from those very same weapons, you are wishing it was MORE impenetrable.

I wish logistics was as simple as moving something from point A to point B.

Granted, it is, so move that pyramid from Alexandria in Egypt to Brisbane in Australia.

I wish the rain would pour for another full day tomorrow in Cardiff.

Granted, but only over Millenium Stadium. For some reason the rain avoids Sophia Gardens entirely allowing the Aussies to complete their demolition of the pommy batting.

I wish the Americans reading this could understand the joy that is an Ashes win by Australia.