:shifty::D

In other news, Max Headroom has been appointed Man Utd boss on a 3 year deal.

SKY SPORTS.
Louis Van Gaal to be appointed new Manchester United manager.

Ryan Giggs "At least he speaks better English than the last two"

I read in the paper today a footballer died after horror challenge during an Indonesian Premier League match.

I didn't realise Roy Keane was playing out there.

I was playing Football Manager on my PC when I was offered the Scotland job. I knew it was a poor squad with no future, so I declined the offer. I then put the phone down and got back to Football Manager.

Liverpool fans plan to hold a minutes silence for the victims of the Heysel Stadium disaster, not out of respect, they just don't like talking about that one too much.

The owner of Manchester City goes into the changing room to show Yaya Toure some love.

"I'm very sorry, Yaya," he says. "It was disrespectful to forget your birthday. I've done my research, and I now know everything about you. Ask me anything..."

"OK," shouts Yaya, from the other side of the room. "Why are you talking to Micah Richards?"

BREAKING NEWS: Manchester United have quietly Cancelled Marouane Fellaini's Birthday Celebrations and crossed their fingers..

Did the Celtic hierarchy forget Neil Lennon's birthday?

Nope but they expect a little more success in Europe...fat chance.

Memorable dates in Manchester City's Illustrious History:

1937: Division 1 Title Winners for the first time, under Wilf Wild
1956: FA Cup Winners under Les McDowall
1968: Division 1 Title Winners under Joe Mercer
1969: FA Cup Winners under Joe Mercer
1983: Yaya Toure is born
1984: Yaya Toure's 1st Birthday
1985: Yaya Toure's 2nd Birthday
1986: Yaya Toure's 3rd Birthday
1987: Yaya Toure's 4th Birthday
1988: Yaya Toure's 5th Birthday
1989: Yaya Toure's 6th Birthday
1990: Yaya Toure's 7th Birthday
1991: Yaya Toure's 8th Birthday
1992: Yaya Toure's 9th Birthday
1993: Yaya Toure's 10th Birthday
1994: Yaya Toure's 11th Birthday
1995: Yaya Toure's 12th Birthday
1996: Yaya Toure's 13th Birthday
1997: Yaya Toure's 14th Birthday
1998: Yaya Toure's 15th Birthday
1999: Yaya Toure's 16th Birthday
2000: Yaya Toure's 17th Birthday
2001: Yaya Toure's 18th Birthday
2002: Yaya Toure's 19th Birthday
2003: Yaya Toure's 20th Birthday
2004: Yaya Toure's 21st Birthday
2005: Yaya Toure's 22nd Birthday
2006: Yaya Toure's 23rd Birthday
2007: Yaya Toure's 24th Birthday
2008: Yaya Toure's 25th Birthday
2009: Yaya Toure's 26th Birthday
2010: Yaya Toure's 27th Birthday
2011: Yaya Toure's 28th Birthday; FA Cup Winners under Roberto Mancini
2012: Yaya Toure's 29th Birthday; Premier League Champions under Roberto Mancini
2013: Yaya Toure's 30th Birthday
2014: Yaya Toure's 31st Birthday; Premier League Champions under Manuel Pellegrini

QPR v Derby should be an interesting game.

The worst of luck Harry.

Yes I have a £10 double Derby and Athetico

The second part of that double may well be your downfall.

Lucky lucky lucky Harry Redknapp and down goes another BossMark double :)