Granted. Unfortunately your gesture of goodwill is misinterpreted by the DEA as an atempt to organize a world-wide free cocaine distribution network. Blackwater Contractors working for DEA bust in your door, shoot you down like a dog and find...nothing. Your estate and survivors sue for wrongful death only to find that the White House has given all Blackwater Employees "Double-Secret Immunity" from all crimes anywhere so the case is taken to the Supreme Court. The court, on a 5-4 majority, finds for Blackwater guaranteeing their position as a new Praetorian Guard of the executive. Your survivors, after being pilloried for months on Fox News and conservative talk radio, slowly disappear or are found dead in mysterious boating "Accidents" on Chesapeake Bay. The coroner's finding in all cases is either accidental drowning or suicide despite the anchor chains tying their hands behind them or the fact that they all live on the West coast.

I wish I could write a 50,000 word best-selling novel of my father's stories as a merchant seaman in World War 2 entirely in the month of November.

Granted, but with the success comes people who claim that you stole there ideas, infringed on existing stories, you mangage to beat them and prove it was real, but when you try and write a follow up book, it crashes and burns, with bad reviews hounding you into a life of hiding in the hills.

I wish I can keep frustrating Reaves!:lol:

Granted but it works so well that Reaves ends up locked up in a mental ward constantly repeating the words Book and Worm. Feeling guilty you wake up every night for the rest of life screaming in fear and crying. It gets even worse later in life when you to are sent to a mental ward for an embarrasing outburst you have in a bank. It takes 30 police, 10 firemen and a midget to drag you out and lock you up.


I wish the Nintendo Wii had better graphics.

Granted. While creating your favorite frozen, blended beverage, you inadvertantly patch your Wii through your Cuisinart Blender, set to "Mega Whip". This has the effect of rendering the Wii's graphics as crisp and lifelike as on a High Definition TV... Now all you need is a HD TV...

I wish I had a toasted bagel with creme cheese...

Granted...Too late, I ate it. :p

I wish I could sprout wings and be able to fly.

Granted...but you fly in front of a Boeing 747. :arrgh!:

@Bismarck... you need to wish for something... :hmm:

Maybe he's wishing for a wish????:hmm:

Granted, but you don't even have one yourself!:lol:

I wish I had a girlfriend.

Granted, but you find out later that she had operations to make "her" what she is today.:eek:

I wish that students would check the catalouge before asking if the library holds the title they're looking for.:stare:

Granted, the students notice the catalogue and use it to help themselves all the time. Unfortunately though you get an increase of people asking "I'm looking for a book, I don't know the title, author or ISBN but it's got blue on the cover."

This causes your head to explode.

I wish pigs could fly.

Granted, but think of the mess! Let alone the smell!

I wish I had a faster computer.

Granted, but your still the last player to enter the game in MP, because the rest of us still have a faster one :rotfl:

I wish beer was free in the UK

Granted, but then you'd be dead by now.

I wish I had a job.

Granted!
but it will be a dirrty job, patrolling the city sewers for problems.

I wish I had a WW2 aircraft.

Granted, but the cost of upkeep bankrupts you and your local council fines you for keeping a bunch of old scrap metal in your back yard.

I wish understood women.:88)

Granted! You find yourself suddenly wanting to accessorize and color match your wardrobe, your sense of direction is useless and you find yourself crying spontaneously over "sad and silly" afternoon soap operas. Your monthly cellphone bill goes throught the ceiling as you find it impossible not to gossip for hours about the other women in your sewing circle. Then there is the monthly "Curse of Eve" and mood swings to deal with... along with a strange desire to relate to RuPaul...

I wish the air was cleaner...

Granted, but then you'd be forced to pay taxes for it, I'm sure.

I wish I had a life (ooh, this is gonna be a good answer, I'm sure:lol: )

Granted! But we reused Michael's Jacksons life. Happy Hunting!!


I wish i had 2000 horse chestnuts

Granted, but you wouldn't be able to find enough timber to roast them.

I wish the wife would hurry up cooking dinner.