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Quote:

Originally Posted by Fish

Pitty the part about, lawyers, Guns and therapists is carefully evaded.

Actually it wasn't evaded at all: There are quite a few versions of this "revocation" on the Internet, the earliest of which have only 10 points and do not include any points about guns and lawyers.

This was the version that response was written to:

Quote:

NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE

To all the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Britannic Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume sovereign duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new Prime Minister (The Rt. Hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed".

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "****".

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

God Save the Queen!

Unfortunately, nobody bothered updating the the response to take into account the new versions.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChokerSandwich

Because of my own health I will not tell how many spelling mistakes I found in those two replies. :shifty:

Look ya'll wesa got'n'usin a dogdern Anglish Professor.

I suspect that your pedantic need for proper utilization of the English language stems from a past time of ridicule for your own rendition of the English vocabulary.

Perhaps you had a lisp or Hooked-On-Phonics just did not seem to work for you. However, you should bear in mind that all current language is nothing but an improper version of what it used to be. So in effect, what you consider proper is only the current version of the language you are using. And sooner or later it will change yet again.

Before this seems off topic, I refer this for two reasons; both Choker's criticism and the joke from the H M Government of the American Colonies. Language adapts geographically so making fun of, or ridiculing another person for their use of a certain language is pointless, since it could be the local adaptation at fault rather than their personal failure to comprehend it.

BTW, its all a joke. :yep:

As far as the beer comment, I agree, the domestic American lager like Budweiser is utter swill. But then again, its also the fastest growing segment of beer sales in the UK among young people. Just another example of the Brits following in the footsteps of American popular culture.

And anyone who thinks all American beer sucks hasn't been to the American Pacific Northwest in a while. The microbrew revolution is producing the best beer in the world right now. Take a visit and see!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Avon Lady

Quote:

Originally Posted by Type941

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Avon Lady

Quote:

Originally Posted by Type941

You didn't win it yourselves guys.

I doesn't say that.

You know perfectly well what it implies, please.

It infers "how about showing just a bit of appreciation for what the US did for Europe not that very long ago" and nothing more.

Try to keep in mind that this is a parody no less so than the British address to the "Colonialists" at the start of this thread. :roll: In other words: lighten up! :88)

Avon, you know every joke has only a bit of joke. those 'points' are done to redicule the stereotypes about cultures. And when they say what they do, it's not like 'hey, it's a joke, it's not true'. They just say it's a joke to get away of being responsible for what they say.

all comics do this. Jon Steward can make an ass out of bush (albeit not difficult) and get away with it because it's a comedy show. But what he says identifies with the crowd (otherwise it wouldn't be funny and popular - i.e. his daily show). If he were to compare Bush giving speech on his campaign in 2004 and 2000, and than put them against eachother in a 'debate' in real news show, he'd probably get fired the Dan Rather way.

So when you say lighten up - well, I'm fine, i can take a joke. I just don't kid myself. :know:

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And with that, I get a new avatar. :arrgh!:

LOL
some people call the US, Imperialist.

Now if thats true, does anyone wonder where we get that from?!

Ill give you a hint, they had lots of "colonies", and were famous for strongarming people with their navy and army of convicts! :D