Wow, that sounds pretty cool. Except for the part about the soap.

As you were...

Granted, but it would turn into the great Australian flood.

I wish I could create a useful invention....

Granted, but someone would only claim that they thought of it earlier.

I wish I could retire at 50.

Granted. Unfortunately, two weeks after you retire, the US attacks Iran. The resultant World War and $200/bbl of oil causes hyperinflation and widespread fuel and food shortages. The US government and economy collapses paving the way for the North American Union. When they finally allow dollars to be exchanged for Ameros, your savings is exchanged at 100/1 ratio dollars/Ameros. Your nest egg fortune loses 90% of it's value forcing you to take a greeter's job at Walmart part time for minimum wage.


I wish I could see Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld convicted of War Crimes.

Granted, but this causes riots between the masses of Americans Democrat vs Republican and the USA is split in two leaving Canada a clear path to invade and plunder the once great US of A.


I wish I had a donkey and a japanese lingerie model.

Granted, but your employer eventually comes to the realisation that the business plods on regardless in your absence and therefore he can do without you. So he terminates your employment status and you have to survive on welfare benefits.

I wish the next GWX release was out now.

Granted, but it's full of bugs and glitched features because they had to release it in pre-alpha stage to please the Primadonna over here.

I wish I be a Pirate! :arrgh!:

Granted, but you get caught the first time you try to board a ship. Not wanting to bother the law courts, you get to walk the plank without legal recourse.

:gulp:

I wish I could have a trip on the new A380 to London in the first class suite, with my wife!;)

edit. damn you bookworm

Granted although whilst trying to join the mile high club you get interupted by a live camera crew filming the event and streaming it on the internet. Immediately you are an internet star but your wife is the one in the spotlight. you become incredibly jealous which forces you apart and you end your days drinking alone in strip joints and doing low quality porn films.

I wish I had super powers.

Granted, but you die when an airplane hits you and paralyzes you. Hence, a nice fall from 40,000 feet.:up:

I wish that everyday was Sunday.

Granted. All the 9-5ers are on permanent unpaid vacation, and every day of the week is Sunday. The economy undergoes a great shift and is subsequently driven by the masses of retail and restaurant workers relegated to working on Sundays. Any post-secondary education is deemed useless in this new world, where the guy who flips your burgers starts making your old salary. Furthermore, forget about doing any yardwork outside of your home; Christian extremists are on the march and are lynching anyone caught not relaxing on the Sabbath. This strange bizarro world is a total inversion of society. Anarchy reigns supreme.

I wish I had an endless supply of single malt scotch.

Granted although the constant drinking effects your liver and your doctor informs you not to drink ever again. Meanwhile your endless supply of scotch takes up all the room in your house and you are forces to start giving it away but more keeps appearing and you don't seem to be able to make a dent in the supply.

Giving up you move out into a small appartment living under where a really bad heavy metal band is on constant band practice.


I wish Das Boot had a happier ending.

Granted: the movie ending changes, but so does history! :damn: U-96 makes it back to port, there is much rejoicing, and the crew sets out on many more succesful patrols. Doenitz gets his demands for a sizable u-boat fleet met and the Third Reich successfully strangles the lifeline to the U.K. Sea Lion is an utter success and the U.K. falls. Building an unstoppable momentum, Hitler conquers Canada, the U.S., the Soviet Union, and soon nothing is left to keep German and Japanese clutches away from Australia. The entire world is subjugated under the iron rule of the swastika for centuries to come, all because you wanted to change a silly old movie.

I wish I could fast-forward through the next month of school to vacation.

Now that's crushing my dreams! :rock:

Granted although during that month many life changing events happen and because you skip them you miss all those moments, plus all the knowledge that you should have gained at school is never learnt so when you get back after vacation you fail, causing you to end up quitting and living on the streets selling empty cans to hobos.

I wish I could give the world a coke.