Granted, pickles are eradicated causing an uprising by the Chik-Fil-A Sandwich Eaters United against Tarjakistan because a Chik-Fil-A is nothing without a pickle slice. Of course, since you are the leader of Tarjakistan and blamed for everything, you are placed in a vat of pickle brine and drowned for 30 years or so

I wish that wishes were easier to think of and harder to crush

Granted, you now have absolutely no difficulty in thinking up armour plated wishes.

I wish my bearings were precise.

Granted, but you got the range all wrong

I wish jimbuna got the bloody range correct

Granted, jimbuna has finally gotten the correct range and bearing information unfortunetly the target has long since found out his location.

I wish jimbuna all the best against the 3 destroyers now bearing down on his position


.

Granted, he does, first he sinks your ship, then he sinks TJ's, and finally he sinks DT's. But then, in a flash of inspiration, Bernard rushes into the conning tower screaming,

I did it! I finally figured out how to bypass the safety and open both the outer and inner doors at the same time!

and the weight of the water rushing in takes the sub directly to the bottom where it and it's crew are never heard from again...

I wish better training...

Granted, improved potty training will commence tomorrow.

I wish I could have seen the look on the face of the bitch who sits opposite me at work when she allowed a felon to escape from her grasp.

Granted, you see her face and immediately shudder at the sight regretting you made the wish you have an overwhelming urge to run as the felon before you did.


I wish there was a law against ugly.

Granted, there is and you are just about to become the first one prosecuted

I wish all the illegal uglies were rounded up and deported

Is that why you are being sent to the Antarctic?

I wish I did not have to go visit the Dr today...

Granted, now you die from whatever illness you needed to go to the doctor about

I wish faeuipogsn was a real word

Granted, your dog uses it all the time to tell you he needs to go out but you never understand him so wee's on the carpet all the time.


I wish I had attack manatees with lasers on their heads. I would rule the seas.

http://scienceblogs.com/retrospectacle/manatee.bmp

Granted, but a rogue one turns on you and burns your eyes out wth its laser.

I wish Kratos hadn't fallen asleep last night during the bus ride home.

Granted, he fell asleep before his bus came leaving him to walk home after freezing his nutz off at the bus shelter.

I wish Kratos had a warmer night

Granted. but just one degree warmer. (and its freezing out.)

I wish for a wish crushing machine.

Granted, you get a wish crushing machine which crushes your wish for a wish crushing machine

I wish things worked the way they were supposed to, only better