Granted, you need only wake up, becaue in reality mud isn't a valued commodity

I wish I live in Digital Truckers imagination so I can make money selling mud.

Granted, but soon a new regime of Fascist Lolcats come into power and ban all mud production, you soon lose all your assets and are forced to live out the rest of your miserable life in the sewers of Dublin

I wish you all would wake up, or I'll have to call the Catstapo

Granted, everyone wakes up except you...and the phone is constantly ringing in your head as you are trying to sleep.

I wish today were just another day...

Granted, but "frankly my dear...I don't give a damn."

I wish I owned that huge plantation.

Granted, you are the new owner of the ACE basin plantation in South Carolina. But due to the expense of maintaince and protecting yourself against class-action lawsuits from 35 million descendants of black slaves. You tear the place down to sell it for fire wood and turn the land over to a land fill company. Just to break even and pay off lawyer fees and court costs.


I wish my quality of life improved over yours.

Granted, you quality of live improves over Jimbuna's but as he has become a homeless Junkie, you get to be a homeless drunk.

I wish words really were mightier than then sword

Granted, but only Wilkinson Sword.

I wish my Gillette mach 3 was turbo charged.

Granted, your Gillette Mach 3 is turbo charged, but is now so fast that it removes your nose while shaving your chin because your forgot to wish for 4 wheel anti-lock disc brakes to go with that turbo-charger

I wish Jimbo's nose wouln't have been launched into orbit by his turbo charged razor

Granted, instead of his nose, he gets launched into space.

I wish for it to snow tomorrow.

Granted, it snows tomorrow on top of Mt Everest. Pretty much like every day really...

I wish fortitude was more than a valley in Brisbane

Granted, its now the new name for the feces that goes to the landfill.

I wish that fortitude didn't smell so bad.

It doesn't...that is your own body odor you are smelling...

I wish my trees were not so heavy...

Granted, someone has chopped them all down unbeknown to you...problem solved.

I wish I'd started earlier.

Granted, you started earlier, but that means that you are now finished (literally) buh-bye:D

I wish I had started later

Granted, now we are all way ahead of ya in the race

I wish the this that them then