We call it a courtesy spray! :haha:

Nothing like a floral aire mixed with hydrogen sulfide.:O:

Reading material for the throne...

Crap on the Wall by Hu Flung Pu

100 Yards To The Outhouse by Willy Makit
illustrated by Betty Dohnt (Armistead needs pictures)

Yellow River by I. P. Freely

The smell of success by W. C. Lounge

Burning Rectum by Taco Bell
Rectum? Hell it damn near killed 'em.

C'mon ice cream!

Dropping the Browns off at the super bowl. :haha:

Just how big is your toilet?!:huh:

All I have is a pool.:-?

Just a good old American Standard with matching ditty paper holder. :03:

Sometimes I think I'm falling in love with you. Do you think you could wear a wig?

Doe's your wife have sonic ears? The reason I started sitting on the head was I could get out of bed, walk to toilet, not turn on light, take aim, miss and my wife knew the exact second I hit the seat.

Then that nagging about putting seat down. Why the heck can't women lift the seat up when they finish?

Blonde, brunette or fiery redhead? :hmmm:

I asked one that question once. She said something about sitting down in the dark and falling in.

On the other hand I've been divorced almost thirty years, and I still put the seat down every time.

just hook up a taser to the floor and walls, you miss and you get zapped

as for crapping on the seats, that would stop as soon as the seats were clean enough to be something you are willing to sit on. no one wants to crap on the seat they are just to afraid to sit on all that pee all over the seat.

lets keep big brother out of the bathroom or next they will start dictating how many sheets you can use

Let's see, brunette through the week, but fiery red on the weekends for more lustful excitement.:yeah:

I'm your man. :03:

Geesh Steve, a seat complex after all these years still remains. You should've let her fall in...

I got drunk once and pizzed on a bug zapper, you should try it sometime.:doh:

Cause the gals want to go in the dark of night without turning on the light or groping for the seat.
My ex sat in the bowl one night after I left the seat up.:haha: I got chewed on a bit after that incident. I did try the What if it was an outhouse? defense. That might have gotten me shot dead.:huh:
The seat is always up here with wife 2.0 because the dog likes fresh water and she tends to dribble after a drink. Nobody likes sitting on a wet seat. I tried telling wife 1.0 that love was a two way street and she could just as easily drop the seat as I can lift it but, Noooooo. She wouldn't listen to reason. Hence the dip in the pool.:har:

You can always get an automatic seat lifter/dropper:yep:

Wife 1.0 was also a bijoona maker. I hated that with a passion!:stare:

What's a bijoona? you ask. Putting one of those fuzzy covers on the tank and the lid tends to cant the seat forward to the point that it won't stay in the vertical and it falls when you least expect it, usually in mid stream causing you to yell BIJOOONA! Now I know it was a plot by that heartless wench to force the seat down. I should have tossed a hand full of jacks on the floor in there and forced her back to onesies.

\
My son is 16, so I blame most things on him. Why he's still living here at that age I don't know, but least I can pass the blame. However, really don't matter, wife still blames me. I sit when I pee, I inspect, wipe anything I find, and still get yelled at. Fact is, I usually pee in the fields at night when I walk my dog. Nothing more refreshing than a nice pee in the wilderness under the moon. Course then Bear got to pee everywhere I pee, vice versa.

Why God pulled that rib...I can only imagine where I would be by now without all the wives, probably a happy millionaire.